My daughter painted her toenails black for winter formal tonight...

I told her "I hope you don't run into anyone who's black-toes intolerant."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/czwmfx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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Winter's icy grip
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2021
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It's Winter, but I'm still on my Summer diet...

...I'll have Summer that, Summer that, and Summer that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndyVale
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2022
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It's Winter time.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Washpedantic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2022
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My mom told me to stop getting into fights in the winter…

but I was just warming up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ri0den
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2022
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I was worried that my maple tree died this winter, but its starting to grow new buds.

What a re-leaf!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlmostSane67
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2022
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Well, it's time to get my winter car ready...

...and put away my autumn-mobile.

πŸ‘︎ 495
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πŸ‘€︎ u/myverypunnydad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2021
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Why do bees stay in their beehives all through the winter ?

Swarm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2021
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Inspired by the Winter Olympics, I decided to try curling. We don’t live near an ice rink so I thought we could use polished mirrors instead but that didn’t work.

Those with glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moorda
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2022
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What’s spicy but cold in the winter?

Chilly peppers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itmustbethursdayy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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So I heard that they are going to stop handing out medals at the Winter Olympics..

Because they're snow winners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrigamiCraft
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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I was watching skiers at the Winter Olympics crashing out in the downhill event with my son and asked him if he knew which country had the most dependable athletes.

Finland, because they always Finnish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2022
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I want to watch the winter olympics but all the streams keep freezing

I should wait til the summer to watch it instead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2022
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I broke up with my girlfriend, Winter to be with a girl called Summer

She was way hotter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2021
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So a guy went apple-picking in the dead of winter

It was a fruitless effort

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PokePornRPer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2022
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I was going to write a long story about winter but it was too cold

So I just wrote a summary instead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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I heard Humpty Dumpty is having a terrible Winter

Which is a shame because he had a great Fall

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brae123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2021
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My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...

"Swarm."

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2021
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What wears a coat in winter and pants in the summer?

A dog!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2021
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What is a tree that thought it would die over the winter?

Re-leafed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bright_Vision
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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Why do birds fly South for winter?

Because it's too far to walk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoopDoopMc5coop
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2021
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What do you call someone who likes to add numbers when the weather is warm?

A summer

(I thought of this, hope it's original)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/q21q21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2022
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What do you call your pet dog in your bed on a cold, winter night?

A FURR-nace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexJamesCook
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2021
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What do you call the New York Knicks in winter?

Frosty knickers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mean-Mango-7125
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2021
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What don’t trees go on vacation in the winter time?

They usually don’t have any leave

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TRAKRACER
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2021
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My daughter is away at college and she has to chose a degree soon

Honestly her mom and I always did 75 at night but this is her own life and her own thermostat so I am proud of her no matter how she chooses to set it!

Edit: I used to think this world / community is very polarized. Now I realize they are not - they are really sort of gradually distributed between uncomfortably cold and uncomfortably hot....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whatknot2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2021
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A man calls the RV place where he bought his travel trailer to ask what he needs to do to winterize it. The guy says, β€œbring it on over and I’ll summarize it for you.”

β€œNo, I need it WINTER-IZE!…never mind! I’ll figure it out myself!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2021
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Apparently the squirrels are anticipating a much colder winter this year

They're collecting far more nuts than usual - Three of my relatives have disappeared so far.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porkchop_d_clown
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2021
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How do birds avoid getting sick in the winter?

They get a flew shot. 🐦

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yay_for_Pickles
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2021
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Finally my winter fat has gone...

Now, I have spring rolls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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I don't mind when the clocks go back for winter.

But when they forward is daylight robbery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PropMop31
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2021
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What did History say when someone tried to invade Russia in the winter?

Don’t make me repeat myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xynopit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall were walking down the street when they see a crowd of people running in the opposite direction. Rounding the corner they see Eminem walking toward them.

Luckily, seasons don't fear the rapper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/celticdude234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2021
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Why are Finnish people very careful when walking over a lake in winter?

Because they're walking on Finn Ice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rlmflores
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2021
🚨︎ report
The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best. Winter boasts, "Well, you can build snowmen and the snow is so beautiful. And Christmas!! Everyone loves Christmas!"

Spring laughs, "Well sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!"

Summer rays, "Yes, but I am undoubtedly the overall best season! Girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that. What about you autumn, what do you have to offer?"

Autumn leaves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What did winter say to the tree?

"Sir, I think it's time for you to leaf".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lets-watch-VHS
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Well, it's time to get my winter car ready...

...and put away my autumn-mobile.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/myverypunnydad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2021
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I was going to write a long story about winter but it was too cold

So I just wrote a summary instead

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do birds fly south for the winter?

Because it’s too far to walk.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2021
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I was going to write a long story about winter but it was too cold

So I just wrote a summary instead

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do birds fly south for the winter?

Because it's too far to walk.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yuli_Mae
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do bees stay inside their hives during winter?

Swarm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scooterpro1020
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...

"Swarm."

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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I was going to write a long story about winter but it started getting too cold

So I just wrote a summery instead

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I was going to write a long story about winter but it started getting too cold

So I just wrote a summery instead

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2021
🚨︎ report

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