De vine wine puns between my husband and I
Can I think of a red wine pun?
Got my wife with wine pun
I was drinking wine with my wife, and she asked me if it was good, to which I responded:
"It's grape!"
groans
"Why are you wine-ing ?"
groans intensify
"Want me to put a cork in it?"
facepalm desk
"Vine, I'll stop."
She then pun-ished me with no more wine.
My wife asked me why the bottle of wine she bought earlier was half empty
I told her because she is a pessimist.
If you were 8 years old when "Red, Red Wine" was released
I’ve trained my dog to go and fetch me a bottle of wine.
My friend owns a winery and his wine was picked over others in a wine tasting competition by only one trait...
What do you call 'ok' honey wine?
On average how much should you spend on a bottle of wine ?
Oooooh!! About 10 minutes.
My doctor told me to drink two bottles of red wine after a hot bath...
But I can’t even finish drinking the hot bath
If a friend left you 12 bottles of wine on your doorstep, would you be extremely....
If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier
The wine makers have increased production
Apparently they are having a very grape day.
A friend of mine asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine...
I said, "Oooh!! About 15 minutes. "
I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
My wife asked if I wanted wine with dinner. I said sure. She said, do you want a stem or stemless glass?
"Doesn't matter to me, I am bi-stemual".
Absolute silence.
My partner turned 40 today so I gave him some red, red wine and told him
What do you call an expert wine taster from the horn of Africa?
Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?
Because i wanted tequila.
Never mess with your wife’s wine!
I just added fruit and lemonade to my wife’s and now she’s sangria than ever before!
The Pun Explosion on this Ad at the local Wine Store
Red wine and fish don't mix....
How old are you when you start liking Red wine?
My 16 year old son spilled wine while I was doing my daily breathing exercises..
Why do they sell red wine reduction in stock pots?
Because doing it yourself is a paste of wine.
Tennis player Sampras needed rice wine and sent me to buy a bottle without giving me cash...
For Pete's sake, I guess he wants me to pay for it myself!
My wife gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine.
So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she's sangria than ever
When I came in at work this morning, my boss told me my breath smelled like wine.
Ofcourse it does! With my salary I can't afford any Champagne!
The doctor said I should reduce my wine consumption...
After a test for my blood type came back as Cabern-A positive.
I’m going to start a brand of rice wine and I’ll call it for fucks.
My wife had me put her wine in a basket
It turned out to be a fiasco
Not my first pun but second pun here. Don't WINE about my Photoshop skills.
A local wine shop has jokes...
I made a joke about wine in my office, no one laughed
My friend liked to linger in the bathtub and drink wine...
What's Russians' favourite wine?
What the name of the best wine shop in town?
My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty.
I said because she is a pessimist.
I've trained my dog to go and fetch me a bottle of wine
If you were 8 years old when "Red, Red Wine" was released
I trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine.
I’ve trained my dog to bring me red wine.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine.
I added some fruit and orange juice—now she’s sangria than ever.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine.
Recently I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she's sangria than ever.
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