Well I mean I would be mad...
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︎ Jun 10 2020
Well he must be from Boston..
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︎ Jul 15 2020
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
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︎ Oct 05 2019
Well, to be honest
I'd have to change my name
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︎ Mar 08 2020
Well I guess it must be the year of the dog
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︎ Feb 06 2020
A man walks into a doctors office. βWhat seems to be the problem?β Asks the doc. βItβs... um... well... i have five penises.β Replies the man. βBlimey!β Says the doctor, βhow do your trousers fit?β βLike a glove.β
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︎ Sep 11 2019
Well, it can be annoying.
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︎ Jul 20 2019
I get ignored so much, might as well be called terms and conditions
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︎ Nov 02 2019
Well, to be frank...
Iβd have to change my name!
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︎ Oct 28 2019
Glass urns coming to the market now. How well they will sell? Remains to be seen.
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︎ Oct 26 2019
Studies can be pun as well
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︎ Mar 22 2019
Well, I always try to be positive about the situation.
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︎ Jun 03 2019
The jury found me guilty. I asked the judge what the punishment would be, and he said: "Well..."
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︎ Oct 06 2019
Well.. I don't think there is many worse things to be inspired by
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︎ Jul 29 2018
Son: what's that in the beer glass on the mantle? Me: well, that's your uncle Frank that's where he wanted his remains. It was his favourite beer stein. He always said it would be funny, never got why.
Son: maybe it's so he could be a frank in stein?
Me: Dammit Frank!
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︎ Jul 08 2019
EA Sports have released a new Happy Potter: Wimbledon game. You can be any of the well know characters: Ron, Harry, Hermione.
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︎ Jul 14 2019
I met Buzz Aldrin once and asked how he felt being the second man on the moon. "Well..." he said. "It could have been anyone. Right up until we landed, we hadn't decided who would be first out the door. Then, once we touched down, Neil suggested we flip for it."
"And he won?" I asked.
"Well, no..." he mumbled. "The coin was still in the air when Neil jumped down the ladder, the big jerk!"
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︎ Jun 19 2018
My brothers hate me and my mom might well be on her way to disowning me because I told them the Flash didn't need to get shocked by lighting...
since he was already Barry fast.
^(sighs)
My dad however, is very proud of me.
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︎ Oct 26 2016
Why can houses never be perfect? Well, they wouldnβt be good if they were floor-less would they?
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︎ May 21 2018
Reading to my 5 year old the other day when this picture came up, and my wife said βhe must be dropping a log.β I think Iβve trained her well.
https://i.imgur.com/gCd9CRy.jpg
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︎ Sep 27 2018
I was never able to spell well, so this one is mine. He shall be named Fill, and he shall be mine.
imgur.com/PDxyta8
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︎ May 13 2015
May not be a Dad yet, but got the little sister pretty well with this one
imgur.com/a/1riYV
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︎ Nov 07 2013
Well, those seem to be pretty JAMMED in there...
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︎ Feb 28 2012
The sign at the pub said "Well-behaved kids welcome, bad kids will be baked into pies"
"Just the knees?", I asked. I'm a dad even when my daughter's not around, gotta keep my game up.
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︎ Jan 28 2015
He might as well be a dad now
So it is my birthday today and I go by the nickname cuttss everywhere. I see a notification about a friend saying happy birthday on facebook and I see this...
"Happy birthday Cuttss, I hope it's a sharp one!"
Groans were had
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︎ Jun 17 2014
You know.. my legs may be getting older. Knee's aren't doing as well as I'd like. But I have to hand it to them, they've supported me almost my entire life.
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︎ May 25 2016
I got my 5yo really good. I might be a single mother, but my father taught me well.
My 5yo daughter came running up to me after playing at the park on a very sunny day.
Her: "Mommy, I'm thirsty."
Me: "Hi thirsty, my name's mommy. What can I do for you?"
Her: "No Mommy! I'm not thirsty! I'M THIRSTY!"
Me: "Now you're not making any sense."
She promptly let out a groan and stomped away.
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︎ Mar 31 2014
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
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︎ Oct 20 2019
A man walks into a doctors office. "What seems to be the problem'P" Asks the doc. um... well... I have five penises," replies the man. "Blimey!" Says the doctor "how do your trousers fit?"
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︎ Sep 11 2019
Well to be frank...
Iβd have to change my name
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︎ Oct 03 2019
Well to be frank
I'd have to change my name
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︎ Dec 08 2018
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
π︎ 81
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︎ Apr 11 2019
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 05 2019
Well, to be frank,
I'd have to change my name.
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︎ Apr 30 2019
Well, to be Frank...
I'd have to change my name.
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︎ Mar 11 2019
Well, to be frank.
I'd have to change my name.
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︎ Sep 09 2018
I met Buzz Aldrin once and asked how he felt being the second man on the moon. "Well..." he said. "It could have been anyone. Right up until we landed, we hadn't decided who would be first out the door."
"Then, once we touched down, Neil suggested we toss for it."
"And he won?" I said.
"Well, no." he mumbled. "The coin was still in the air when Neil jumped down the ladder, the jerk."
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︎ Feb 05 2019
Well, to be Frank...
I'd have to change my name
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︎ Apr 21 2017
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