The Viking Tale of Bran Rudolph the Red.

There are many tales that have come from Viking lore but few are as lost as the tale of Bran Rudolph the Red.

It was said that he was blessed by God's with a keen ability to predict the weather. Due to this magical gift, he became a renowned seaman. Feared by his enemies, and respected by his bannermen. After years of successful raids and conquests, one of his shield maidens finally plucked up the courage and asked him how he does it.

"Bran, how do you always predict the weather? How have you always, managed to avoid every storm the sea throws at you". All his men laughed and looked up at their leader. Before he could respond, his right-hand man stood up and with a smile on his face and retorted, " It's simple. Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Birdman27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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Pirates found a trove of treasure and brought four chests aboard...

They put them in the hold and, as it was fair weather, didn't strap them down.

However, as they sailed on, they hit a storm, the ship knocked back and forth.

The captain went down to check on the treasure to find it sliding around the deck.

As a crewman asked how bad it was, the captain replied...

"Booty! Booty! Booty! Booty! Rocking everywhere!"

[This is probably my worst joke yet]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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The Wong and White wedding

While in high school, Dana White met and fell in love with David Wong. After a few months the couple decided to get married. Dana insisted on getting married at sunset on the ocean on a yacht. The big day finally arrived and both families joined together to head out for the wedding. The captain of the yacht, checked the weather and saw a storm brewing. He advised the party it was not safe to travel out, but Dana and David both insisted they were going to get married on the ocean at sunset, so everyone loaded up and the boat departed. Sure enough just as the captain was performing the ceremony the storm hit, and the boat capsized killing everyone aboard. The next day the head of the the NTSB, Mr. Perry made this statement. It was a stormy night. So many Wong's and Whites. Neither would change their headstrong ways. The sea was in a rage. The captain turned the page. Their dying wasn't worth what they paid.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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Got my family at dinner.

A little bit of context: we're finishing dinner and talking about the weather. My mom says today's storm wasn't as big as forecasted, and my dad comments that another storm is predicted to come on Sunday.

I say, "Well then shouldn't they call it Rainday?"

Got 2 groans and a half-hearted chuckle. Totally worth it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zhaji
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2015
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Not really a 'joke' per se, but my dad's take on 'Let It Snow', from Southern California

So my dad sent this to everyone in his office. I groaned a couple of times and thought it'd fit in well here.

Oh, the weather outside is crazy
Like a film from Martin Scorsese
The rain will fall and the wind will blow
El niΓ±o, el niΓ±o, el niΓ±o

It doesn’t show signs of stopping
My shirt and pants are sopping
Oh, where did that umbrella go
El niΓ±o, el niΓ±o, el niΓ±o

Weather patterns don’t seem right
Southern Cal is all a storm
The marine layer and all of its might
All because the Pacific is warm

The fear of fire is now subsiding
our thoughts turn to mudsliding
Down the hillside our houses flow
El niΓ±o, el niΓ±o, el niΓ±o

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2015
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My dad is keeping light during Georgia's latest winter storm.

Georgia/Atlanta is expecting a big ice storm tonight/tomorrow. As I got off work, my dad texts me with weather conditions in a nearby town.

Dad: Did you hear they have ice in Cedartown?

Me: Already?

Dad: It's $1.79 a bag.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WacktheMedic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2014
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there is a storm blowing in

My mom was browsing weather.com come and announced a storm blowing in called "Meso k9" Without skipping a beat my dad grins "Sounds like one dog of a storm" tbh i didnt even grown, but gave him two thumbs up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anthonyshore
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2014
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