He said he'd prefer to float.
Does that mean Kong might use... guerrilla warfare?
It's too devicive.
Tailor: you said the there was one hole the pocket only, there are definitely more! Lawyer: I lied, sew me!
Do you know why Australia is better than New Zealand?
Australia has 6 stars and New Zealand only 4.
He said you had to see what type of river it was before you decide how to cross it.
I chime in, "Sounds like MILKroeconomics 101."
Finnish him.
Announcer 1: did that puck just hit a penguin on the bench?
Announcer 2: no... I think it hit a player.
Pails in comparison
What did the democrat say to the republican at the dinner?
Will you pass the bill already?!
Until they try to prove it!
One is going to land on land, but the other won't water on water. ...
it's gonna be the Battle of The Ages
The chess player had a mean right rook!
Yeah they were both in grave danger.
My nephew: So if a couple is 2, and a few is 3, what is 4 and 5?
Me: 9
Takes from a WhatsApp group chat-
Mum: Running late bus has broken down on the motorway.
Dad: You should have taken the car.
Attire
more of a philosophical thought, since we call short pants "shorts, why do we not call long pants "longs"?
Dad randomly chuckles and says "If Sidney Crosby kidnapped Rick Nash's son, it would be Crosby Steals Nash's Young." I laugh, girlfriend and mother groan.
My dad: Are we playing the Pirates?
Me: What???
My dad: Are we playing the Pirates? motions to the tv It says ARG.
Just got home from a trip to McDonalds with my dad. The till worker's name tag was ivonna.
My dad catches on quickly with a big grin oh his face.
"Ivonna bacon swiss melt". ..........
Really?
pails in comparison
