It's a vicious cycle
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the-wulv
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2020
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Many years ago there was a vicious viking named RΓΌdoff.

RΓΌdoff was one of the best fighters in his village and a terrifying opponent on the battlefield. He would often return from battle, so drenched in his opponent's blood that he became known as "RΓΌdoff det rΓΈde", meaning "the red".

After years of wars, and regular battles, RΓΌdoff finally grew old, and decided that his fighting days were behind him. He became the best farmer that his village had ever known and people would travel from.far away to ask him about his crops and to predict the weather, as he was quite proficient at it.

One morning he wokeup, and looked out the window, the skys were clear and the sun was shining, but RΓΌdoff could feel the pressure in his old bones and battle scars

"It will Rain soon", he said to his wife while she made breakfast. She glanced outside and told him he was nuts, it was bright and sunny.

He simply hiked up his pants and reminded her:

RΓΌdoff The Red knows rain, dear.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
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ViCiOuS ShArK EaTs PoOr PuPpY
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/glitchomojo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2019
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A vicious cycle
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Asmor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2017
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Where did Sid Vicious like to read books?

In a punk rocker.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2020
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My Roomba accidentally wandered outside my house, and all the animals started viciously attacking it.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2019
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She probably said, "Let's weight"
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Crypt0sh0t
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2019
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Mr. Jones loses his poultry and drove of pigs in a vicious coyote attack one night.

Upon hearing the news, his neighbours and other farm owners decide to chip in to help him through a tough time.

With high hopes and heavy pockets, they reach Mr. Jones' farmhouse, only to see him merrily sipping lemonade on the porch. Confused, a person from the horde asks him, "Aren't you devastated?"

To which the farmer says,

No ham, no fowl

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theswarthyknight
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2018
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A Vicious circle

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Famousspy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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I lost a boxing match with a pirate.

He had a vicious right hook.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2020
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Every morning after I get out of the house, a bike comes out of nowhere and runs me over.

It’s a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2020
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The vicious cycle continues.....

First and foremost, this is my first actual reddit post (been a lurker for some time now). Anyways, onto the dad jokes. Recently as I have been getting older, it's becoming more and more apparent that I am doomed to inheritance of the typical dad jokes, especially my dad's favorites. Many a time now have I passed a graveyard in the car, asking any occupants, "you see that place over there? people are dying to get in". cue groans and stifled giggles But what about dad rage? Something his grandfather used to say, and he has said, and now I say....road rage makes for the weirdest rages. "Get out, put it on a string and pull it behind you". Yes, I have said that. I AM DOOMED REDDIT. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMadMandalorian
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20 2015
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Every morning on my way to work, the same bike comes and tries to run me over.

It’s a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2020
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riding

My son is learning to ride his bike and when he falls off he looks up with tears in his eyes asking 'WHY?"

I just tell him its a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrLivens
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2020
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I always fall down from my cycle riding on uneven bumpy roads.

It's a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/johnreese421
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2020
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I was attacked by a geometric shape!!!

It was a vicious circle!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2020
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Every time my bike hurts me, I throw it down to the ground.

It's a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/djbassmekanik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2020
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Why was the pun so offensive?

It was homophonic.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Excrubulent
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2016
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Did you hear about the guy getting hit by the same bicycle everyday, day after day..

Yeh it was a vicious cycle!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ChknSchnity
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2020
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My Friend's Bike Keeps Running Me Over

It's a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/realrhema
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2018
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Every time I fix something on my bike, something else breaks and I hurt myself. But I always end up riding again.

It's a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KyleMistry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2013
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These friars were behind on their belfry payments...

...so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JButler22093
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2018
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I keep falling off my bike and hurting myself

It's really a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AlekZandarr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20 2015
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Dad has an idea for a TV show

Okay I had an idea. So it's a buddy cop show except that the cop is a bike cop and his partner is the bike and the bike is alive and mean.

So then they would do a good cop and bad cop thing and then the good cop would leave the bike alone with the suspect and then come back in and the suspect would be all beat up and saying "DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THE BIKE AGAIN" and then the cop would be like

well I did warn you that it's a VICIOUS CYCLE

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cookiemobsta
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2014
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Every single morning I get hit by the same bike...

It's a vicious cycle

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kameshkii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2018
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What's round and mean?

A vicious circle

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2019
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Every single morning I get hit by the same bike...

It's a vicious cycle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2016
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