The one time I took a librarian on a date, she cost me a bloody fortune.
My own fault though, I kept her out too long.
Bloody stairlifts..!
They drive me up the wall..
Sat at the PC gaming last night and a bloody book hit me on the head!
I only have my shelf to blame!
My bloody neighbour was knocking on my door at 2am !!
Luckily I was still up playing my drums.
Mum: (yells at dad) - Why is there a bloody tennis racquet on the kitchen table??
Dad: Relax love it's serving lunch.
Do u think if a British person heard an American person go “ugh I have a bloody nose” they would think “we all have noses you know”
Credit goes to my friend who made the joke
I've called Bloody Mary three times now
I think she's ghosting me
The new "Joker" movie is rated R for Strong bloody violence, language, disturbing behavior and brief sexual images"..
I guess you could say that the "Joker" without an R is just a joke.
Last Thanksgiving I cut myself with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law walks up and grabs the bloody cut and starts twisting it. I screamed “Ouch, what are you doing!!”
He says, “I’m applying the turn-a-cut!”
Its bloody cold today just had to use my Company’s staff discount card to scrape the ice off my windscreen.
Still only managed to get 10% off....
I thought I had a bloody nose.
...but I blew my nose and it’s snot.
"Whoever invented the Band-Aid was a bloody genius" - my dad
Why is a social media platform like a bloody Pennywise?
Because it's a reddit
I'm considering getting my steak bloody....
...it's a rare treat.
Bloody Foreigner!
Coming over here, demanding to know what love is!
Every bloody time...
We can't mention the fact that someone's deaf without my Dad responding 'pardon?'
As a child I would repeat myself endlessly as he lolled inside.
