It's a vicious cycle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-wulv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Many years ago there was a vicious viking named RΓΌdoff.

RΓΌdoff was one of the best fighters in his village and a terrifying opponent on the battlefield. He would often return from battle, so drenched in his opponent's blood that he became known as "RΓΌdoff det rΓΈde", meaning "the red".

After years of wars, and regular battles, RΓΌdoff finally grew old, and decided that his fighting days were behind him. He became the best farmer that his village had ever known and people would travel from.far away to ask him about his crops and to predict the weather, as he was quite proficient at it.

One morning he wokeup, and looked out the window, the skys were clear and the sun was shining, but RΓΌdoff could feel the pressure in his old bones and battle scars

"It will Rain soon", he said to his wife while she made breakfast. She glanced outside and told him he was nuts, it was bright and sunny.

He simply hiked up his pants and reminded her:

RΓΌdoff The Red knows rain, dear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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ViCiOuS ShArK EaTs PoOr PuPpY
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glitchomojo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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A vicious cycle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2017
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Where did Sid Vicious like to read books?

In a punk rocker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Mr. Jones loses his poultry and drove of pigs in a vicious coyote attack one night.

Upon hearing the news, his neighbours and other farm owners decide to chip in to help him through a tough time.

With high hopes and heavy pockets, they reach Mr. Jones' farmhouse, only to see him merrily sipping lemonade on the porch. Confused, a person from the horde asks him, "Aren't you devastated?"

To which the farmer says,

No ham, no fowl

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theswarthyknight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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The vicious cycle continues.....

First and foremost, this is my first actual reddit post (been a lurker for some time now). Anyways, onto the dad jokes. Recently as I have been getting older, it's becoming more and more apparent that I am doomed to inheritance of the typical dad jokes, especially my dad's favorites. Many a time now have I passed a graveyard in the car, asking any occupants, "you see that place over there? people are dying to get in". cue groans and stifled giggles But what about dad rage? Something his grandfather used to say, and he has said, and now I say....road rage makes for the weirdest rages. "Get out, put it on a string and pull it behind you". Yes, I have said that. I AM DOOMED REDDIT. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMadMandalorian
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2015
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My Roomba accidentally wandered outside my house, and all the animals started viciously attacking it.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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She probably said, "Let's weight"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crypt0sh0t
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A Vicious circle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Famousspy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I lost a boxing match with a pirate.

He had a vicious right hook.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Every morning after I get out of the house, a bike comes out of nowhere and runs me over.

It’s a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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Every morning on my way to work, the same bike comes and tries to run me over.

It’s a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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riding

My son is learning to ride his bike and when he falls off he looks up with tears in his eyes asking 'WHY?"

I just tell him its a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrLivens
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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I always fall down from my cycle riding on uneven bumpy roads.

It's a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnreese421
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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I was attacked by a geometric shape!!!

It was a vicious circle!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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Every time my bike hurts me, I throw it down to the ground.

It's a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djbassmekanik
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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Why was the pun so offensive?

It was homophonic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Excrubulent
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2016
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Did you hear about the guy getting hit by the same bicycle everyday, day after day..

Yeh it was a vicious cycle!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChknSchnity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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My Friend's Bike Keeps Running Me Over

It's a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/realrhema
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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Every time I fix something on my bike, something else breaks and I hurt myself. But I always end up riding again.

It's a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KyleMistry
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2013
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These friars were behind on their belfry payments...

...so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JButler22093
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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I keep falling off my bike and hurting myself

It's really a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlekZandarr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2015
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Dad has an idea for a TV show

Okay I had an idea. So it's a buddy cop show except that the cop is a bike cop and his partner is the bike and the bike is alive and mean.

So then they would do a good cop and bad cop thing and then the good cop would leave the bike alone with the suspect and then come back in and the suspect would be all beat up and saying "DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THE BIKE AGAIN" and then the cop would be like

well I did warn you that it's a VICIOUS CYCLE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cookiemobsta
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2014
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Every single morning I get hit by the same bike...

It's a vicious cycle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kameshkii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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What's round and mean?

A vicious circle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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Every single morning I get hit by the same bike...

It's a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2016
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