Since the pandemic, my friend has been doing well selling vases made from herbs mixed with ancient crushed Chinese plates...

That's pretty good thyme-Ming.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you do if a Greek vase breaks?

Get Ellatha one!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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What do you call a bearded vase maker?

Hairy potter.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Worn out vases
πŸ‘︎ 522
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Korozuma
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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What did the bladder’s mom say to him after he broke her vase?

Urine big trouble mister!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freak329
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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I had some flowers in a vase, but they died. I looked at them again a few hours later, and it seemed they had come back to life!

I guess it was reincarnation

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Homer_Simpson2
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the war criminal name his pottery vase project he got an A on?

He named it Pol Pot.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoRo83486
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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Vase of Base

... this wont translate via text im sure BUT. the other day i walked into my apartment with some flowers and was looking for a vase, my roommate says "ah, i have a solution!" and goes to pull a vase out of the cabinet, but theres a giant jug of vinegar in the way, so she pulls that out first, so I said "thats not a solution, thats a base"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mevanarie
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2017
🚨︎ report
People said I would never be good at poetry because I was dyslexic.

But so far I've made two vases and a bowl and they turned out great!

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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Dad, do you like flowers?

Some, on a vase by vase basis.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BubblyCatfish
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
They told me I wouldn't be any good at poetry because I was dyslexic

But so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they're lovely

πŸ‘︎ 188
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
They told me I’d never be good at Poetry because I’m Dyslexic.

But so far I’ve made 2 Vases and a Jug and they are lovely.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5amoaJoe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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Dad dropped this one last night...

A vase.

It was expensive. My mom wasn't happy about it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NikkoE82
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2013
🚨︎ report
If there was an RPG based on furniture

I'd pick the decoration class. Gotta get those Evaseve perks.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redtyestar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What does an antique say at a rave.

Drop the vase.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/machi_koro
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you sterilize pottery?

Vase-ctomy.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToonyCream
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
This guy’s walking home from work, really late, in the pitch black of night...

There isn’t another soul on the street.

Suddenly, from out of the gloom, comes an ominous bump...bump…bump.

He looks behind him and spots a furtive, shadowy thing coming down the street after him.

Unnerved, he picks up his pace, finally breaking into a panicked run.

He looks behind him again, and the shadow is closer.

Bump…bump…bump.

The glow of a streetlight illuminates the shadow momentarily, and, to the man’s horror, it is a coffin, bumping down the sidewalk.

He quickens his pace, running as fast as he can go, but the coffin only pursues more quickly.

BUMP…BUMP…BUMP!

He reaches his house, fumbles frantically for his keys, and slips in the door just as the coffin reaches his front steps.

He slams the door and leans against it, catching his breath.

Bump…bump…bump.

There is a moment’s silence, and the man wonders if he dares to breathe.

Suddenly…. Bump…bump…bump…Bump…

BUMP! BUMP!

BUMPBUMPBUMPCRAAAAASH!!!!

He rebounds away as the door breaks off its hinges.

Scrambling to his feet, he charges up the stairs, and the coffin races after.

BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP!

Terrified, he backs into a corner and starts throwing everything within reach at the coffin β€” a handful of papers, a vase, a box of crackers, a lamp β€” but the coffin keeps coming!

BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP INCHESFROMHISFACE, and nothing seems to slow it down!

His hands fall upon a bottle of cough syrup, and he throws that at the coffin, too!

The coffin stops.

πŸ‘︎ 206
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Shop based egg pun

I need help coming up with a pun for my son's Easter art project. He has done a shop window display using three egg shells as vases in a window box up front. It needs a catchy title based on eggs and shops. Best I've come up with is 'Yolk-al Village Store'.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoLo99
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2016
🚨︎ report
I NEED HOSPITAL REALTED PUNS RIGHT NOW

I'm at the hospital and I need some hospital related puns now!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nintendo_megameme
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2016
🚨︎ report
They told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic.

But so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they're lovely.

πŸ‘︎ 841
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eidolonxero
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My teacher told me I would never be any good at Poetry because of my dyslexia....

But so far I've made 3 vases and a jug.

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
They told me I’d never be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic

But so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase and they’re lovely.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davyh1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
They told me I would never be good at poetry because of my dyslexia

So far my jugs and vases have turned out fine

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report

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