I know a couple of vampire puns
Why don’t vampires play poker?
They are afraid of the stakes
How do you kill a southern vampire?
My wife got really mad at me for stabbing a vampire to death today
I guess I was supposed to give them candy because it’s “Halloween”
What do you call a vampire in a car?
You do realise that Vampires aren't real...
Unless you Count Dracula.
I recently bought 51% of a Vampire hunting company...
I'm the main stake holder.
To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it's heart.
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
(I'm not sure if this is a regional restaurant but I assure you it exists.)
You guys ever notice how there's no vampires in Africa?
Well, from what I know about Vampires, Holy Water can kill them, and from what I've heard they bless the rains down in Africa.
I was asked who my favorite vampire is. I said “the muppet from Sesame Street”
They told me “he doesn’t count!”. I replied “I assure you he does”.
What do you call a skeletal Vampire?
Why do vampires bite people's necks to turn them undead?
Because they're neck romancers.
2 priests walk into a vampire
One says "Quick show him your cross"
The other priest crosses his arms and says "I'm so disappointed in you"
Did you know that Africa has had no vampires since 1982?
That's the year that Toto blessed the rains there.
What's a vampire's favorite drink?
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire ?
A vampire was confused at his reflection
He wondered, what happened to the man in the mirror?
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
What do you call a vampire ant?
Why do vampires seem sick?
What kind of beer does a vampire drink?
My 5 year old just got me with this one: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
What is a vampires girlfriend Called?
What kind of workout does a vampire hate?
What kind of restaurants do Vampires avoid?
A man was caught stealing at a supermarket today while standing on the shoulders of a couple of vampires
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts
What’s a vampires favorite fruit?
Vampire (Punny)
Gave a vampire a stake and now they’re...well...done.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
What did the vampire say to his girlfriend as he nuzzled her bosom?
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
What diner meal is dangerous for vampires?
Stake and eggs (sunny side up, of course)
What's a vampire's favorite kind of television?
I have killed so many vampires, but Dracula is proving hard fo catch
Finding where he is will enable the final count down
What does a vampire bite if he wants something sweet?
What do you call a cross dressing vampire ?
I recently bought 51% of a Vampire hunting company.
I'm the main stake holder.
I recently bought 51% of a Vampire hunting company....
I am now the main stake holder.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
What do you get when you combine and vampire and a snowman?
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
The only way to kill a French vampire is to slowly drive a baguette through its heart.
The process is a little painstaking.
A man was caught stealing from a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires;
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
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