I saw an ad that read: β€œTV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.”

I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
My favorite crime tv show has a duck as the main character.

He always quacks the case.

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/T20J
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....

But you have to prove your jokes can land.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dogmatic_Catalyst
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling β€œI stepped on a Bee!”

I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...

Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.

Apparently I had dropped one...

Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....

A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
Was planning a big announcement that I’m watching the new Marvel TV show.

But I’m keeping it low key.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
I noticed that Marvel aren't going very much promotion for their new upcoming tv series...

They want to keep it low key

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andstep234
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
"The perfect TV crossover doesn't exi.. oh."
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
My grown son asked me how I never seemed to lose the tv remote when he was growing up.

I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter... A remote location.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Njensen58
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new TV show called The Walking Dad?

It’s about dads who walk around the house all day turning off lights and muttering that they’re β€œnot made of money.”

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
Came to the living room and found the TV screen was white.

"Who's watching Peace TV?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Emadthegreat
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I hate TV Tropes

I was watching a show about these politicians. But then I woke up and it was all a dream.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaBigMac
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
What tv show did the astronaut appear in?

Dancing with the stars

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
How does a dog stop a TV show....

He presses paws!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
Bounty Paper Towels has introduced a drone which will retrieve a TV remote from anywhere in your house...

It’s the β€œClicker Picker Upper.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
I hid the control for the TV

I’m not even remotely sorry

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Echo_The_God
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Smart TV?

In-telly-gent

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TabbyReddit07
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
My wife told me: β€œYou’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...

so I turned on the closed captioning.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
I just saw an announcement on TV. Seems there’s a fortune teller that happens to be a dwarf, wanted by the FBI

To sum it up, there’s a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Corvette-Ronnie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.

It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
TV repair during the pandemic has been pretty easy.

It’s mostly remote work.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
True story: As kids, my sister and I were fighting over the TV remote and it got heated. The remote flew across the room and a couple AAA batteries fell out. My sister threw one at me, and I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and threw it at her.

My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"

She then left the room, cackling.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danieltkessler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.

More on this after the break.

πŸ‘︎ 171
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?

Jimmy Felon

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D4RKG4M3R1zE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
Why can't they watch TV in Afghanistan?

Because of the telly-ban

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ctoskas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV

But Abu Dhabi Do

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whelan99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, β€œDad get out of the way!”

I said, β€œYou’re the ones blocking!”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't I find the TV remote??

It was in a remote location.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SamDHogge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
I’m selling a TV for $1, but it’s broken and it’s stuck on the highest volume.

It’s something you can’t turn down!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TechX5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
What do you call a TV dinner that's average at best?

Mean cuisine

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...

The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
What do mushrooms watch on TV?

Spores

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/monosteeze
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
What is the most common nationality of the people who manufacture fake pubic hair for tv and movies?

Amerkin.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
My dog has learned out to use the TV remote...

All she does is paws and unpaws.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NBE01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the TV repairman's marriage?

The reception was excellent

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
I went to a wedding yesterday where two tv antennas got married

The wedding was horrible but the reception was great

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
TIL my tv hates the outside world.

Whenever it faces outside it just glares.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirFrankPork
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
What TV shows are squeaky clean?

Soap Operas

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Broke_Gam3r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
What's a psychic's favorite TV network?

ESPN

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
My TV started playing random Netflix shows. It was weird...

But I’ve seen Stranger Things

πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.

It’s a real game changer

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/struggling-here
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn't you let kids watch big band performances on TV?

Too much sax and violins.

πŸ‘︎ 138
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn't resist the sexy TV remote

It was an instant turn on

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bsISS1243
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
If someone yawns on tv and yawning is contagious, that person has a chance of being a superspreader and causing a short yawndemic 🐸

Ever thought about that?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HMK360
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?

A pouch potato.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SabaSohail81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.

More on this after the break.

πŸ‘︎ 111
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report

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