My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me ?
Find out next week.
I lost the clicker to my television, but I found it...
It was in some remote area
What's a vampire's favorite kind of television?
I saw an ad in a shop window, "Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"
I thought, "I can't turn that down".
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
With the lack of sports on television, networks are going to show the world origami championship.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
A television newslady is interviewing a horse that can tell whether a person is a homosexual or not. "Am I homosexual?" Asked the newslady. "Neigh," said the horse.
The newslady turns to the camera and says, "you heard it folks. 'Straight' from the horses mouth."
What television video interface standard was created by Yoda?
I walked by a store with a sign that said “Television $1- volume stuck on full”
I thought to myself “I can’t turn that down!”
We talk about groundbreaking inventions like electricity, and sliced bread, and television...
But how come nobody ever mentions the jackhammer?
When "The Untouchables" first appeared on television in 1959, it was very popular...
People tuned in like gangbusters!
Television is a medium
Because anything we'll done is rare
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies
someone asked me if i wanted to watch Black Entertainment Television...
What did the television do at the beach?
Channel surf!
Courtesy of my 6 y/o
Why is television called a communications medium?
Because it is neither rare nor well done.
There should be a Network Television show to inform teens about the dangers of unprotected sex.
They can call it "Genital Hospital".
What is a germaphobe's favorite kind of television?
The television is too loud
Last night, my son said to me, "Dad, the television is too loud. Can you see what the volume is?" I said, "The volume is 7000 cubic inches."
My son looked puzzled, so I said, "You asked what the volume was." He groaned when he realized what I said.
I'm giving away a brand new television. Problem is, volume is all the way up and can't be changed.
"Can't turn that down."
(Stolen from Gus Johnson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-w0h3g07aE )
Our two year old has started calling the television 'The TB'
My wife: "That's a fair name for it, because it consumes all his attention"
Tim Duncan dadjokes national television after winning the Finals
"It's been fifteen years since you won your first championship, what is the biggest difference between then and now?"
"15 years probably"
Tim Duncan's the man
Basing this off of memory, don't remember word for word actually
I saw an ad in a shop window, “Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full”, I thought
“I can't turn that down.”
The national Origami Championship is on television tonight.
I saw an ad in a shop window, “Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full”, I thought
I saw an advertisement that read: “Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.”
I thought to myself, “I can’t turn that down!"
I saw an ad in a shop window "television for sale 1$, volume stuck on max." I thought
Buying a television.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, €1, volume stuck on full.” I thought.....
“I can’t turn that down.”
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