Telly Puns

My wife just said to me, "why is there a shirt and tie on the telly?"

I said, "it's a smart TV."

In-telly-gent

Because of the telly-ban

Luckily I was the one facing the telly

My mam saw a channel on the telly called the Deja Vu channel so she asked my dad what it was.

He replied with ‘I’m not sure but I swear I’ve seen it before’

He’s now pissing himself laughing and mam doesn’t get it

I told him plenty of times to tag a telly but he kept rushing off to the pasta aisle

Now that's what I call Artificial in-telly gents.

We were sitting chilling on the sofa, watching crap telly, she turned to me and said, "I'm tired".

"Nice to meet you tired, I'm Simon"

She's well used to my shit, so she fixed me with a steely gaze, totally unimpressed, and barked, "You're so funny".

"No, I'm Simon. I just told you that".

I snickered silently to myself as I ducked under the remote control that was thrown -hard- at my head.

My mom was washing up the dishes after dinner while my pop, my brother & me were watching a game on the telly on Mother's day, so my dad kinda tells her:

"Come on, don't wash the dishes now, it's your day!"

While my brother adds:

"Yeah, you'll do it tomorrow!"

(Whilst talking about an event he's stewarding for tomorrow)

Dad: "I might need some TLC when I get home tomorrow"
Honourary Dad (Me): "What? Telly, Leffe, and Crisps?"

Luckily for me I was the one facing the telly