If you suck at playing the trumpet...
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
My friend and I went fishing. He cast out first and got a bite. So he reeled in a trumpet. Then he cast out in a different area, got a bite and reeled in a clarinet.
After he cast out the third time, I said "maybe you'll reel in a bass soon!"
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
I was supposed to play the trumpet
If you suck at playing the trumpet...
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
If I were a trumpet player I would constantly borrow other people's trumpets.
I'd hate to toot my own horn.
Hi! I got a chance to play the trumpet for my school band!⤵️
I've been told I could be a talented trumpet player but...
I'm not one to toot my own horn.
After letting out a trumpet of a fart my toddler stopped, gasped and said, "did you just hear that elephant?"
She's going to be a great dad someday.
Edit: predicted text
This trumpet joke is very bad, et is very bad!
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
I told the person who was playing my trumpet
To stop pushing my buttons
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
My wife plays violin. I used to play trumpet. Last night we talked aviation.
My wife plays violin and her first rehearsal with a new orchestra is near. She had access to an electronic copy of the music, but wondered whether the orchestra would distribute paper copies at the rehearsal. For orchestras, the section leaders decide when everyone's bows will be moving up vs. down and annotate the music accordingly. Copies of the annotated music are distributed to the players. As a trumpet player who's never needed that kind of annotation, I've always been able to use the originals.
Wife: "String players never play from the originals because we have bowings."
Me: "And wind players have Airbuses!"
Wife: "That joke was just plane awful."
One for the orchestral dads: What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Why did Voldemort play the trumpet?
Because he was in the azkaband.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet
A brasshole
Credit: u/LucinaFailure
Why is a Pharaoh like a trumpet?
They have a toot in common.
Do you want to hear my joke about a trumpet?
..... .......... err .... ahh I blew it!
Why did the trumpet player get arrested?
For fingering in A Flat Minor
Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
Dad, can you say "trumpet" in French?
Went to buy myself a Trumpet
After trying a lot of trumpets, I asked if they had any light trumpets, they came back with this.
Commence epic laughter from the salesman.. Sigh...
Learned a hymn on my trumpet today...
I told my dad about it and he asked me which one it was so I hummed it for him and he asks "are you sure that's a hymn?" and I answered, "Hmm, maybe it wasn't a hymn...maybe it was a her!"
Dadjoked my dad :)
Why are elephants such narcissistic animals
They like to blow their own trumpet
What's the loudest kind of pet?
Which musical instrument is most likely to take legal action against the others?
Do you know what the loudest pet you can get is?
If you suck at playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
If you suck at playing the trumpet...
If you suck at playing the trumpet,
If you suck at playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
If you suck at playing trumpet
If you suck at playing the trumpet
If you suck at playing the trumpet,
If you suck on the trumpet, that's probably why...
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London tube
He went from barking to tooting in 15 minutes
I don't like to toot my own horn,
But that's why I'm a terrible trumpet player.
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