The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just one byte. And then everything crashed.

Edits: Thanks for all the awards!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deant_b01
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Historians have traced the origins of flatulence jokes to ancient egypt

It turns out they all have a toot in common

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DargeBaVarder
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The first computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple that barely had any memory. One byte, and everything crashed.

It probably ran on Python

Credit: u/FriendofHolySpirit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cubic-Zirconia
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My wife got mad at me because I wouldn’t stop singing β€œI’m a Believer” by the Monkees. At first, I thought she was kidding.

But then I saw her face.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiosMioMan2
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Archaeologists found traces of Trinitrotoluene in a T-Rex skeleton. Scientists have since determined that T-Rex's muscles used the compound to function.

TNT. It's dino might.

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Traces of semen
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maildejoaquin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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Great joke, albeit a bit long winded.

There was once a boy. He was the son of the richest man in the universe. Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, he dwarfed them all. He was a multi-trillionaire. Now, it was this boy's birthday. His father asked him,

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. A store full of lego, all the video games in the world, anything. What would you like?"

His son replied.

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one pink ping pong ball."

His father was rather confused by this request. Out of all the things he could've chosen, his son chose a ping pong ball. Nonetheless, he agreed and gave him a pink ping pong ball. His son was overjoyed and spoke to him.

"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong ball?"

"Okay son, go ahead."

The boy then went up to his room and played with his pink ping pong ball. When his father went in the next morning to check on him, the boy was sleeping in his bed and the pink ping pong ball was nowhere to be found.

On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"

His son replied.

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one box full of pink ping pong balls."

His father was again, confused by this. Still, he bought a cardboard box and filled it with ping pong balls. He gave it to his son, who said.

"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong balls?"

The father nodded, and the son went up to his room to play. The next morning when his father went to check, the boy was sleeping peacefully and there were no pink ping pong balls in sight. Just the empty cardboard box in the middle of the room.

On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one truck full of ping pong balls."

Now, by this point, the father was extremely confused. Why did the boy want so many pink ping pong balls and where were they going? He asked.

"My son. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and I can certainly get you this, but may I ask, why do you want

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phrresehelp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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What happens when your mother disappears without a trace?

Mama MIA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustPlayn10
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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Ray Tracing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrNekoSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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In 1590, all of the pilgrims of Roanoke suddenly disappeared without a trace

It was very un-settling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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Trace

A magician was counting from 1 to 3 in Spanish and said "uno dos....." Then disappeared without a tres

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xj-77
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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Oops
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πŸ‘€︎ u/We_r_Ven0m
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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If you take up drawing as a mid-life hobby, but you just can't get past tracing...

You may be having an exit-stencil crisis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Good god
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firefighter353
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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All Chemistry exam questions contain trace amounts of the element of surprise.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ablufia
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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A frog decided to trace his genealogy one day.

He discovered he was a tad Polish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
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I Left No Trace imgur.com/wN81kVb
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4wheelndude
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
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As a private investigator, I'm pursuing a con man by tracing his stream of impoverished victims...

Yes, he left a pauper trail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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Fun whiskey fact: when creating Buffalo Trace bourbon, the first couple of attempts were complete failures. They even went so far as to destroy all records of the early products

which is why you never hear about Buffalo Uno or Buffalo Dos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
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I'm going to disappear without a trace

Uno....dos......

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mjbritt79
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2017
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A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three.

Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeetusAFeetus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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My wife said she would kill me if I kept singing "I'm a Believer". I called her bluff and kept at it.

Then I saw her face...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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There was once a race of people with no right hands, arm legs or feet. We have no trace of them today because...

they left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joeisthinking
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
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There was a Mexican magician who said "I will disappear on the count of 3"! The crowd was silent. He began to count. "Uno... Dos...

and the magician disappeared, with out a trace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYRion7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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Have you heard the news about the Art club going missing.

They disappeared without a trace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alike01
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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When is a door not a door?

When it’s ajar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimHP
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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Have you heard about the spanish majician?

He went uno, dos, and dissapeared without a trace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/harmondrew465
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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I didn't believe my wife when she told me she was going to divorce me if I didn't stop quoting the Monkees...

And then I saw her face.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grown_Man_Poops
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
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You wouldn’t beelieve it

I was raised homeschooled. As a result of this up bringing, I went to many different places to learn things.

One day we went to a farm, and this farm just so happened to have a bee keeper working on it. So I naturally struck up a conversation with the fine man, asking him questions about what he did, and how he liked his job.

Little did I know some time had passed and it was time to go. My mother had called to me from behind my back saying it was time to leave, but I didn’t pay her any attention. Then, in a stern tone, she called to me again from behind that it was time to go.

Then I saw her face, now I’m a bee leaver. Not a trace, of doubt in my mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ben_Holda
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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My boss made a good dad joke today...

So there I was working on a small project; I make signs and was working on something for a local election candidate. The client wanted small plastic fans with a pic of her on sticks for her upcoming rally. 300 of them. Our plotter wasn't able to trace them out so I'm hand cutting 300 plastic pieces. My boss walks in, and I say "Man this is gonna take all day." and he replies "Well, looks like you got your work cut out for you today." And walks off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jin_Gitaxias
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2016
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Our baby was scooting naked on the bathroom floor, so I said to my wife...

"Honey, do you know what our bathroom and a chocolate bar have in common?"

"Huh?"

"They both may contain traces of nuts!"

I had to laugh at this joke all by myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/orthoxerox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2015
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Did you know the worlds oldet computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve?

The computer was branded by apple, but it had very limited memory. It only had 1 byte and then everything crashed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with just one byte. And then it crashed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buildblox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple.

It had extremely limited memory. Just one byte. Then everything crashed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krystx57
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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Found this joke online xD

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything CRASHED.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueMeteor134
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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