Someone: "If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14 day quarantine you probably should've been seeing a doctor long before COVID-19"

My response: "144? That's a gross"

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📅︎ Mar 16 2020
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Why did the toilet roll go down the hill?

To get to the bottom...

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👤︎ u/olisticu
📅︎ Jul 12 2020
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So I said to Arnie: "Where did you get those toilet rolls?"

He said: "Aisle B, Back."

👍︎ 970
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📅︎ Mar 12 2020
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I ran out of toilet roll so am reduced to wiping my butt with lettuce leaves.....

I fear it's just the tip of the iceberg.

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📅︎ Mar 19 2020
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I put the last roll of toilet paper on the dispenser today.

Shits just got real.

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👤︎ u/RobMV03
📅︎ Apr 13 2020
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Single man with toilet roll seeks single woman with hand sanitizer..

Looking for good clean fun!

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📅︎ Mar 23 2020
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"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.

"Don't be daft," I replied. "A toilet is a stationary object."

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Jul 08 2019
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Why do toilet paper rolls have trust issues?

They're always getting ripped off.

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📅︎ Mar 30 2019
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Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life

Life would be pretty shitty without it

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👤︎ u/alidinani
📅︎ Mar 23 2019
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What do the starship enterprise and a roll of toilet paper have in common?

They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

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📅︎ Dec 14 2017
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How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?

Multiply

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/S3rgeus
📅︎ Dec 24 2016
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I asked my dad if I could have a roll of toilet paper for my apartment.

He said, "[Son]... You need to get your shit together."

He gave me the roll.

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📅︎ Aug 07 2016
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My dad handed me a toilet roll while saying this:

"No job is complete without the paperwork."

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📅︎ Jan 04 2015
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So, I said to Arnie Schwarmaswagger, "Where did you get those toilet rolls?"

He said, "Aisle B, back."

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👤︎ u/RayInRed
📅︎ Apr 07 2020
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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom!

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👤︎ u/mesir
📅︎ Sep 08 2019
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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/dandan_56
📅︎ Oct 21 2019
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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/red_19s
📅︎ Jul 25 2019
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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

It needed to get to the bottom.

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👤︎ u/thepattato
📅︎ Sep 10 2019
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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom.

👍︎ 13
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📅︎ Jan 28 2019
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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

It wanted to get to the bottom.

👍︎ 7
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📅︎ Jan 19 2018
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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom!

👍︎ 14
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👤︎ u/at112112
📅︎ Nov 10 2016
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