Scientists developed a male birth control gel but it only targets the X/Y chromosome

Theyre calling it "Son-Block"

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/kriskidd21
šŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Why are shapeshifters bad drivers?

Theyre always turning into different people.

šŸ‘︎ 8
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Stanky3000
šŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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Pirates get a special price for corn.

They only pay a buccaneer.

šŸ‘︎ 9
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Anthonybrose
šŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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Why does no one in Antarctica have coronavirus?

Because theyre ice-o-lated

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/jerseypoontappa
šŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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not a dad but got all my comedic sensibilities from one

i work at a liquor store. i was stabbing the plastic top of a case of tall boys open with a boxcutter (with GUSTO & PANACHE) and one of my regulars came in , saw me, and asked

"jeez, what are you tryna do, kill em?" & i said without hesitation

"well you cant drink them while theyre still alive,"

šŸ‘︎ 5
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šŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Why are older men so good at dad jokes?

Their funny bone has groan up so theyre more humerus

šŸ‘︎ 136
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Greycatblackdog
šŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
šŸ‘︎ 67
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/ruchi565
šŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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I love Norse puns

They're Frigg'n hilarious.

šŸ‘︎ 8
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/ixfd64
šŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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What did the nut say when he was chasing the other nut?

Iā€™m a CASHEW!

šŸ‘︎ 128
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šŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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So my dad just made a dadjoke and i thought i would share it

We where at the table having lunch and eating the dessert, the dessert were some pre-made waffles that my mom had bought with ice cream on top, and the waffles where old and they had stayed on the freezer until we needed them, for some reason we started talking about how old the waffles where when my dad said with a semi-serious face: "theyre already from the last year" and stupid me reply with "already" to wich my dad just says that all food on the table was from a year ago and i finnaly realise it.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/ManelB3
šŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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My local store is charging customers who dont have reusable bags

Theyre asked if i brought my own, or if i wanted a payper bag

šŸ‘︎ 9
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/boxymcboxbox
šŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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I dont trust stairs

Theyre always up to something

šŸ‘︎ 11
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Diwanrobot
šŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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I hate when people spell 'your' when they mean 'you're'.

There so stupid.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/tombola201uk
šŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
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The universe is just free parking.

There's just so much space!

šŸ‘︎ 20
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/TheDanHimself
šŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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I like being friends with geologists.

They're really down to earth.

šŸ‘︎ 33
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Pookie_face
šŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
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How many children does it take to change a light bulb?

Well it depends on wattage they are.

If theyre bright enough they can do it

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/mischiefkel
šŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
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The Cheerio Joke

Oh boy do I have a joke for you kids! Its called the cheerio joke.


So there is this land called cheerio land and in cheerio land there are 7 classes of cheerio, 0-5 and the frosted cheerios. Now there is this level 0 cheerio. Hes homeless, living out on the street, probaly an alchoholic. But he falls in love with a frosted cheerio princess. So one day he sneaks into the royal gala and goes up to the princess and asks her "will you marry me?" Now she says "I like your style, youre a good looking guy, a bit scruffy but I like you. Tell you what I will marry you if you can become a frosted cheerio" So our guy goes back with a determination and gets a job and starts to pay off his debts. Now by having a job and his debts paid he becomes a level 1 cheerio. So he works, and he works, and he works, and he WORKS and he finally becomes a level 2 cheerio. Now he goes back to the princess and askes her again, "will you marry me?" she says "no honey you really do have to become a frosted cheerio first." So he goes back and he works and works, hes a fryboy at McGrubers or something, I dont care. So he works and he works and he gets promoted at the restraunt and is making more money. And he works and he works and he works and by having that income raise he finally becomes a level 3 cheerio. He feels sucessful for the first time in his life but he is starting to fall back on his old ways. One day he goes to the casino and he loses and he loses and he loses and he gambled all his money away and he gets fired to boot because gambling is against company policy. So he is back down to a level 1 cheerio. He gets a job on a production line at a nearby factory and determines himself not to fall back ever again. So he works and he works and he works and he works and he WORKS, level 2, level 3, and he is doing great again. He is promoted to Floor manager of the factory and he is doing great and becomes a level 4 cheerio. But then one day a rival company sabotages their operation by putting poison in their toothpaste or whatever the hell they were making. They have to pay out damages and PR and the like and they declare bankruptcy. He is knocked back down to level 2 for the lack in income. But he is hired almost straight away by a branch of a huge conglomerate because they recognized how hard of a worker he is. So he works, level 3, works, level 4, and he works and works and WORKS. So he is promoted t

... keep reading on reddit āž”

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/t17389z
šŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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Kraft food is opening a production facility in the middle east.

Me: Really dad thats pretty interesting.

Dad: Yeah theyre gonna call it Cheeseus of Nazareth.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/FGoose
šŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2013
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