Why was the camping trip so stressful?
Because it was in tents...
Well.. We made another trip around the sun.
But it's the earth's rotation that really makes my day.
After all my travel in 2020 was cancelled, I'm now facing the COVID reality that my Spring Break trip is not going to happen either. I just told my suitcases this sad fact...
...and now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage
I just saw my wife trip over and drop the basket of clothes she just ironed.
Did you hear about the supermodels on a camping trip?
They were pretty in tents.
My lactose intolerant friend had some cheese at the beginning of our eight hour road trip today...
Did you hear about the porter potty camping trip?
What did Homer say when he didn't bag a female deer on the hunting trip?
Recent Trip to the Grocery Store
I was just in a checkout line at the grocery store and the man behind me was going on and on in broken English about being from some Neo-Mediterranean superpower. He got my attention, pointed to a newspaper above the belt, and asked what it was. I replied “It’s the Times, New Roman.”
What did the antisocial person say before going on a trip?
Don't worry, I won't belong.
A guy runs into a bar and goes on a trip to the hospital.
What did the wolf say when he wanted to leave for a trip?
Let's GOOOOOoooooooooowwwww
(my 7yo daughter made this up and had me breathin hard through my noise for a split second)
A couple of weeks ago my dad was taking us on a camping trip preceeded by a two hour drive, so a minute before we were going to leave the house he sat me and my brother down and told us:
Speak now or forever hold your pee
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
What happened to the baked beans that took a trip around Australia?
I was driving to a weekend hunting trip when I came to a fork in the road. Sign said bear left...
My hippy son asked for money for a field trip to the symphony hall
But it seemed like a Phishing attempt to me
What did the man say when his trip got cancelled to Africa?
Went on a trip a few years ago and the airline asked me if I had any baggage.
Apparently my response of 'only emotional' didn't FLY well!
What did the 2x4 say on a road trip?
“I’m board, are we stairs yet?”
Why did the fisherman catch more on his second trip?
Because of his mussel memory
Just got back from a camping trip with the family
The days were incredible, but the nights were in tents
During a recent camping trip, my son rigged his drone to paddle his canoe for him. He called it the "DronePaddle3000".
Recently I took my family on a road trip, and we got a flat tire. When my daughter got out of the car to help, she almost got hit by a car.
Good thing she wasn't, that trip would've been short-lived.
My wife and I are planning a trip to San Francisco to finally fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing The Golden Gate in person.
She asked me, “What are you going to do when you see it?”
I said, “Let’s cross that bridge when we get there.”
I fell in love with the tick that bit me when I was on a trip to Rome
It was a Romantic gesture
On our imaginary trip to Maui, my boy and I both stubbed our toes at the same. We were the chosen ones because we were gifted...
Two friends are on a road trip and one if them sees a sign stating they are approaching Louisville. One says "we should stop in 'Louie-ville' for lunch. The other says it's not pronounced 'Louie-ville', it's 'Louis-ville'!
They go back and forth for a while, neither convincing the other that they are right. Finally they decide on a place to eat. When they get to the restaurant, one of the friends asks the person taking their order to settle it once and for all. "Me and my friend are having a debate and hopefully since you live here, you can set my friend straight. Would you please tell us... and say it clear and slow for my friend here... where are we?"
The person behind the counter gets a puzzled look on his face, then says
>!"Buuuuuurrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiiiiinnnnggg"!<
Why were the couple of friends not having fun on their camping trip?
Why is Dad in such a hurry to buy the glue right before the road trip?
Because it's important that everyone sticks to the plan.
During my trip to Madrid I was staying at this small motel when I grew pretty ill. Thankfully the people at the front desk sent the on call doctor over and he was able to fix me up real quick. I told him I didn't expect such a small place to have such a good doctor, to which he told me
Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Physician
I once went on a trip to the North Pole.
It all went south from there.
I moved far away from my parents, but every year around this time I make the trip back because my mom makes this delicious sauce for dinner...
You could say I'm home for the hollandaise.
My wife emailed me the pictures of our first trip together, but I couldn’t open any of the files.
I’ve always had trouble with emotional attachments.
What does the mathematician use to carry his belongings on weekend trips?
Did I ever tell you about the shady vendor who sold me an overpriced, moldy donut on my trip to see the Pyramids?
Egypt me, but I was starving so I ate it anyway. Now I falafel.
My friend had a small horse that he tried taking trail riding. It died the first trip, unfortunately.
My camping trip to the beautiful country of Iceland was ruined by a pack of wild dogs
They just wouldn’t stop Björking
A comic I drew of myself and my student before we go on a field trip to the bowling alley
My wife looks at the atlass during road trips so we don't get lost
When I'm in the passenger's seat, I use the guy version. The atlad
What did the father teeth say to his son before the trip?
My reaction when I take a trip to the Hoover Dam and the temperature breaks 100°
Recent Trip to the Grocery Store
I was just in a checkout line at the grocery store and the man behind me was going on and on in broken English about being from some Neo-Mediterranean superpower. He got my attention, pointed to a newspaper above the belt, and asked what it was. I replied “It’s the Times, New Roman.”
Did you hear about the competitive camping trip?
I just watched my wife trip and drop the pile of clothes she just ironed.
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