I was so excited about the pun contest, I ended up entering in ten of them! Guess how many won?
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︎ Nov 05 2022
How are ten plus ten and eleven plus eleven the same?
Ten plus ten is twenty.. Eleven plus eleven is twenty too.
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︎ Jun 24 2022
South of the border is a sea of violence, hate, corruption, disease, and division I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.
I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.
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︎ Oct 02 2022
Click here for the top ten facts about diarrhea!
Number two will surprise you!
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︎ Oct 05 2022
What do you call a pile of dress shirts that need to be ironed in the next ten minutes?
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︎ Jul 29 2022
The Ten Commandmints.
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︎ Jul 25 2022
Ten minutes before the fire alarm went off my friend Steve was standing in the parking lot wearing his jacket.
I never knew he suffers from premature evacuation
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︎ Jun 28 2022
I heard Will Smith got a ten year ban from the Oscar's.
Well, that's a slap in the face.
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︎ Apr 10 2022
A truck carrying ten thousand copies of a thesaurus crashed on the motorway.
Onlookers are said to be stunned, Bewildered, Dumbfounded, Astonished, Startled, Speechless, and Amazed
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︎ Sep 20 2021
I looked at the first ten jokes on this sub to see if any would make me laugh
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︎ Jan 07 2022
I met my wife at a fancy dress party. She and her fat friend went as the number ten.
As soon as I saw her, I knew she was the one.
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︎ Nov 26 2021
Another joke from my emerging comedian, eleven year old son: What happened when the ten-year-old cannibal spilled his soup?
His mother gave him a piece of her mind.
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︎ Dec 18 2021
A grave robber and a surgeon walk into a bar, ten minutes later the surgeon walks up to the bartender looking really grumpy
The bartender asked what the matter was. The surgeon replied βwe were gambling see, and I lost an arm and a leg
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︎ Dec 19 2021
I needed a new charger for my phone, so I went to the store. Finding an employee, I asked him for help and he told me he could sell me a DC adapter for ten dollars. I looked him square in the eye and said "Nice try, buddy..."
"But I live in Kentucky, not Washington, DC!"
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︎ Dec 28 2021
I keep seeing the same joke that it takes ten tickles to make an octopus laugh. Can we stop with the harassing of sea life and just...
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︎ Mar 28 2021
I came up with the top ten reasons you shouldn't pee on an electric fence...
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Did you know that two times ten and two times eleven are actually the same?
two times ten is twenty and two times eleven is twenty too
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Took my ten year old to the dentist...
The dentist told me he had a tooth decade
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︎ Jun 18 2021
A pun walked into a bar and ten people died on the spot.
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︎ Dec 23 2020
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if this sub's top ten jokes met this standard.
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︎ Sep 19 2017
The ten Commandmints.
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︎ Feb 20 2021
A pun walks into a bar, ten people die on the spot.
Pun in, ten dead
Edit: The police quickly arrived at the scene, surrounding the bar. The pun was trapped in the bar but it decided to hold on and have a shoot out with the police instead of surrendering. Sadly, the pun was shot. He was pun out dead at the scene.
Edit: Nobody attended the puns funeral, they all at ten ded.
-Mic drop-
Edit: Wasnβt that a killer pun?
Edit: Unfortunately I told about 10 puns before this one. Did any of them land? No. No pun in ten did.
(Credit To killsforsporks and TLo137 for the last 2 edits)
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︎ Aug 11 2019
I got ten voicemails from Jamaica in the span of an hour. Each message was a separate Bob Marley song.
Some was obviously jammin my phone.
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︎ May 23 2021
A woman entered an online pun contest. She submitted ten different puns in the hope that at least one would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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︎ Feb 06 2021
Told to me by my father this morning. Did you hear about the pun that murdered ten people and then died in the standoff?
The headline was βpun and ten deadβ (meant to sound like pun intended.)
Definitely not the best but it was kinda funny. He was definitely pleased with it
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︎ Jun 12 2020
I looked into taking a trip to Norway in the next ten years...
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︎ Mar 19 2021
Ten years ago today, I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the most beautiful woman in the world to marry me.
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︎ Nov 18 2019
Why did the girl break up with a guy who paid for everything with ten dollar bills?
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︎ Mar 16 2021
My ten year old fist bumps me and does the 'exploding hand' afterwards ...
After he explodes his hand I look down at my still clenched fist. I slowly raise it near my ear confused and shake it. I then explode it in my face almost knocking me off me feet. I look at him sternly and say, "You could have killed me."
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︎ Jun 25 2014
What did the man say when he was asked out by ten women in one day?
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︎ Dec 14 2020
What is the favourite sport of the ten legged spider?
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︎ Aug 24 2020
The twelve days of Jokemas, day ten
What is a snowman's favorite cereal?
Frosted Flakes
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︎ Dec 22 2020
Breaking news: Irish officials have reported that a passenger 747 has crashed into a Belfast cemetery. Investigators have discovered over ten thousand dead bodies at the scene. One local witness at a nearby pub claimed it was a Guinness record.
To be sure. Iβll let myself out.....
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︎ May 14 2020
I took ten photos of myself in the shower, but hated them all.
Turns out I have selfie-steam issues
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︎ Jan 03 2017
Did you hear about the dog that ran ten miles to retrieve a stick?
That sounds a little far fetched
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︎ Jan 25 2019
I was playing the song "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" by the Allman Brothers for my ten year old daughter. She asked me how long ago I first heard the song. When I told her I heard it when it was first released, 50 years ago, She said,
"Was it called "In Honor of Elizabeth Reed" back then?
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︎ Jul 24 2020
Ten cows are standing in a field. Which is the closest to Iraq?
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︎ Aug 02 2019
Thereβs a guy in a European airport, and he sees a man carrying a ten foot metal pole. He asks the guy, βAre you a pole vaulter?β
The man says, βActually, Iβm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?β
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︎ Apr 03 2020
βIβm afraid I have some very bad news,β the doctor says to this guy. βYouβre dying, and you donβt have much time left.β βOh, thatβs terrible!β says the man. βGive it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?β βTenβ¦β the doctor says slowly.
βNine... eightβ¦ seven...β
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︎ Sep 16 2019
When my father left to buy cigarettes ten years ago, he forgot to put on his size 14 boots, and I'm keeping them because of the sentimental value.
That's why I'm still carrying around these huge daddy-shoes.
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︎ May 08 2019
The ten largest baseball stadiums hold between 46,000 - 56,000 people.
Just some ballpark figures for you.
(My own joke!)
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︎ Feb 15 2019
Thereβs a room with two tables and ten people. One table has soup, and the other table has a punch bowl. All ten people are lined up at the soup table.
Nowβs when you ask: whereβs the punchline?
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︎ Nov 24 2019
Itβs funny that ten plus ten, and eleven plus eleven equal the same thing
Ten plus ten is twenty. And eleven plus eleven is twenty too
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︎ Jul 09 2022
A pun enters the room, ten people get killed.
The headline?
PUN IN: TEN DIED
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︎ Oct 16 2020
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if any of this sub's top ten jokes met this standard
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︎ Feb 24 2020
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
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