Tegea Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Soooo, I'm playing on Series X and I've come across a rather infuriating issue with TQ; just got into the Fetid Lair outside Tegea for the poisoned spring side quest and it turns out Arachnid aren't the only annoying bugs to be found here.My main screen keeps going black, My HUD isn't affected and I can see myself moving on the minimal but, other than that I can't see shit unless I bump into enemies or loot containers, at which point I can see everything again right up until I slay the beasties and pinch the shiny things, whereupon I'm plunged back into darkness. I've tried TPing to town and back, cleared my cache/hard reset the console and even re-downloaded the game all to no avail. Anyone else encountered this? Is there a fix? It's making me question persisting with the game any longer, the auto-target issues and random CTDs were already proving an immense ballache.

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Heya everyone, and sorry that I’ve kept you waiting -well, I’m once again actually really early on the schedule because Ares was one of those deities I really wanted to talk of, as he’s quite interesting. Seems like you share this mindset as well even if for different reasons than I do, so why not discuss him and his potential as a character together. There’s lot of things to unpack regarding him, both weird and wholesome, so be prepared for a wild ride.

This opinion is definitely going to be controversial, but what haven’t I done except shared controversial opinions during this whole discussion - would Ares be featured on a future game, I don’t think he should be a villain, much less the main one. I get that it may sound weird at first but trust me, I do actually have a point with this and interestingly enough it has lot to do with Pit’s characterization. But before we can get into that, have some history and background info as it can help you to understand why I think so.

Ares is best known as the god of war, but he’s also a god of many things that seem to be contradictory with each other. He’s both the god of rebellion and civil order, as well as both the god of courage and cowardice. His best known symbols and attributes are his golden armor, sword, bronze spear and shield - you may recognize the two latter ones from the astronomical symbol of Mars and male gender symbol. He’s one of the few children of Zeus and Hera, others being the goddess of childbirth Eileithyia, Hephaestus and the goddess of youth Hebe. Ares also has quite a number of divine children of his own, the main five being Phobos (Fear), Deimos (Dread), Harmonia (Harmony), Eros (Love) and Anteros (Love returned) with Aphrodite, all of them are considered to be Olympians. Occasionally two other members of the Erotes are added into the group pushing the number into seven, these being Himeros (Uncontrollable desire) and Pothos (Yearning). If Adrestia (Revolt) is viewed as her own figure separate from Nemesis, she’s also seen as Ares’ daughter with Aphrodite meaning that these two had eight children together. The Homeric hymn dedicated to him also refers to him as Nike’s father, which certainly makes things bit more interesting - and speaking of said Homeric hymn, I honestly don’t really know how to describe it with words myself, so I’m leaving it here:

>*Ares, exceeding in strength, chariot-rider, golden- helmed, doughty in heart, shield-bearer, Saviour of cities, harnessed in bro

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

It was about a weak back.

After all his first name is No-vac

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.