Did you hear about the temple to Colonel Sanders on the Yucatan?

It's called the Chicken Eatza.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevinh456
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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Where was Solomon’s temple located?

On the side of his head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaketoday
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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Indiana Jones and the Shirley Temple of Doom [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ADAlverde
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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I was in Bangkok with my wife recently. I suggested we check out one of the many temples.

She said β€œwat pho?”

And I said β€œidk just to get a little culture?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsnotnotme
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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TIL Navy bases are known as temples of the sea

They are a place of warship

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cccggt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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Every time I visit a temple, I have no idea what to do. So I stand around and do nothing.

I’m an idle worshipper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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My bidet is a temple
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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Every time my friend goes to a temple, he takes a nap.

He’s an idle worshipper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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What is the temple of insects standing on?

Cater-pillars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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I called a Buddhist temple and asked if I could apply

They told me applications come from within

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Nearmint
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
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What did the introverted monk say to his friends when they invited him out of the temple for a hike?

Nah, I'ma stay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sabett
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2017
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Heard this one at a temple in my city

Yesterday I was at a Thai Buddhist temple in my city. The secondary meditation instructor was just chatting with the group a bit before things began. He was explaining to me that on Sundays the temple has language classes. Someone else asked if he spoke Thai, he then explained to us that he didn't complete all the courses and considers himself.......A Thai School Drop out.

I laughed so much harder than I should have at this, mainly because I had been trying to think of some dadjokes earlier that day. Universe provided.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IceJudge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2015
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Jesus drove a Honda, it says in the Bible:

"For I did not speak of my own Accord" John 12:49

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DerLuftwaffe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
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"Ar, Mateys. This tune be called Interstate Love Song".

-Stone Temple Pirates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Dad joked my dad.

We went to look at Christmas lights at the Mormon temple, Dad was pulling out of the parking lot.

"Hey theintention, is the coast clear?"

"I don't know dad, we live in Arizona. I can't see the coast from here."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theintention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2013
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There was once a priest who went to see the world after taking his oath....

After many years of wandering, he finally arrived in a small village in the middle of nowhere. The people there believed in the same religion as he did, but they had no church; they had to go to the nearest one which was in a small town 25 km's from there. The priest took the initiative, asked the Church for support, and with the help of the local men they built their own temple. From there on, he was celebrating the Sunday masses, joining together men and women in Holy Matrimony, and saying prayers at the funerals.

Many years passed by like that.

At the end of an ordinary mass, in early spring, on a chilly Sunday morning he was just guiding the people out of the church, was about to close the gates when an unknown man stepped into the churchyard.

With his dirty and torn clothes, he stood before the priest and said:

  • Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was a good man, and even though he thought the request was a bit strange, he went back to the rectory,
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doty152
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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[Request] A name for a store.

I was just assigned an architecture project to design a retail building of some sort. The products, name and theme are all free for me to choose, so I want to make it a killer pun.

What's a punny store name/product combo I can use?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reason-and-rhyme
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2014
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What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...

...Temple-pedic mattresses...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/code_engine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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I am not a dad. But I do joke like one.

I work in an area with a very large Hasidic Jewish population.

I was asked why they cut their hair everywhere other than near their ears.

My response: "They consider the temples sacred."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/esslittlefield
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2016
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The look on our servers face

Waitress: We have coke, diet coke, ginger ale, root beer in a bottle and Shirley Temple in a bottle

Dad: wait, how did you get her in the bottle?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chillhardy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2015
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I was a bartender for a night . . .

I said to my 13 year old. He's at that age when he is starting to think he knows everything because he knows why salt makes ice melt.

He knows I'm a teetotaler.

"What do you know about making drinks?" he says sneeringly.

"I know how to make some drinks."

"Like what?"

"I know how to make rum and coke. I know how to make gin and tonic. I know how to make Shirley Temples."

There is a snort there.

"I know how to make vodka cranberries. I know how to make margaritas. I know how to make red wine."

He finishes the fries he is eating at the counter island in the kitchen and starts to head out of the room.

"Do you know how to make a red wine?" I call after him.

He turns around and looks at me, still chewing.

"How"

"Tell them about 1991."

"What?"

"That is when the Soviet Union fell, all the reds were whining."

True story.

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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2016
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I'm currently backpacking through China. Dad was on point with this one.

Dad: Did you go to the temple today?

Me: No, it was raining cats and dogs all day today.

Dad: Well, that should keep everyone fed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icearrowx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2015
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