Tattoo Ink Puns

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

A police officer walks into a tattoo parlor, hoping to get something cool drawn onto his shoulder. He walks up to the artist and shows him a picture of what he wants. In large text on a ribbon it says, "Protect and Serve." Below it, is a picture of a a badge, a pair of handcuffs, and a pistol. The tattoo artist is very good at his job, and says he can get this done in one session, so the officer sits down and the artist gets started. A few hours later, the artist is just finishing up, inking the last details of his service weapon. Once the last line is inked on the trigger, the cop gets up from his chair and looks in the mirror to see his new tattoo. His face twists into a look of shock and terror, pulls out his gun and opens fire onto the tattoo artist, killing him in the process. He gets on his radio, calling for backup, and took a defensive position until a few more cops and the police chief showed to the parlor minutes later. The chief, while examining the scene asks the officer, "What the hell? Why did you shoot this guy?" The cop says, "What did you expect me to do? The guy drew a gun on me!"

Source - Pic Abridged version:

A man who dubbed himself Britain's biggest idiot after losing his wife after tattooing a comedy penis on his own leg is hoping to win back her heart by having it lasered off.

Hapless Stuart, 34, of Southsea, Hants, inked the six-and-a-half inch member on his left thigh, so the end pokes out of his boxer shorts.

"After I did it, my wife woke up in the morning screaming, because there was this massive penis poking out of the duvet. And the tattoo on my leg.

"It caused no end of rows, and she's now kicked me out of home. I deserve it, I suppose."