Edit: Quality puns in here folks, keep it up! Make your dads proud!
It's my dry cents of humor
I came across a child the other day sitting on the side of the road, crying beside a rusted bucket. I mean, I just kept walking, but I still kinda FeO bad for the kid.
Scientist: Got it.
Boss: And make sure....it looks like an oxidant.
He keeps it in olive oyl
He has rust issues.
Rust in peace
Because it had rust issues
May he rust in piss.
May he Rust In Peace
He has some rust issues.
I was 16 and at a rowing regatta I was competing in. It was middle of the day and very hot everyone was under these massive gazebo/tent structures with big guide wires and these huge rusty steel tent pegs sledgehammered into the dirt.
Anyways I was running late for my race and my crew were yelling at me so I started running. The shortest way was through the spectator area on a big downhill towards the water so at full pace I went that way.
About halfway the top of my barefoot trips on the rusted top of one of these steel pegs and I fall face first and tumble through the dirt with my foot and ankle split open.
People run from all directions, medical staff etc someone holds a towel over my head for shade and I see my dad. He's looking down at me but it's hard to see through the dirt in my eyes and people around.
He asks "bloody hell mate, what happened?".
In agony I manage a "I kicked a tent peg".
He knelt down beside me, looked me in the eye and said "how far did it go?"
He has rust issues.
only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
"Rust in peace"
I once had a goat. One that nobody understood why he did the things he did, and he resented us all for it. So much so that he would head butt and attack anyone that tried to get close. He was just such a misunderstood soul. One day, I was looking out the window with my morning coffee when I saw that a passing stranger was sitting atop that old and rusted '55 Chevy pickup that sat in the pasture petting the goat. The goat had finally found someone that really understood him. I watched amazed as this stranger reached a closeness with the goat that I myself would never know . "Wow" I whispered to myself, "that man really gets my goat..."
While outside my brother's place talking about sawing a rusted part of an old charcoal grill: Me: "I could bring you guys up a jig saw" Brother: "That's ok, we have puzzles inside"
He was asking my mom and i if he should go to an eye doctor or a normal doctor because he has something in his eye and he cant get it out.
My mom asked him whats in his eye.
He said "a piece of steel"
I said "you need to go in because my metals teacher had that and it rusted in his eye and he couldnt get it out himself"
He said "so will it be in my eye for the rust of my life?"
Then i laughed so hard i had tears in my eyes.