I sympathize with batteries

I’m never included in anything either.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhabibs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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I took my 1 year old to the ER with the flu. As the nurse was taking her temperature rectally with the thermometer in the butt, he sympathized with her misery by saying β€œI know, it stinks.”

To which I responded β€œIt certainly will when you take it out.” I accepted the long awkward silence that followed as thunderous applause.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Khoalb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Not sure if technically a joke..

Not really a joke, but it sure made me laugh.

A few days ago I was working on an essay about Harriet Tubman. I finished it Wednesday night and left it in the kitchen overnight. At some point during the nighttime my father erased one of my sentences. It was something like, "New York responded to this incident with outrage, with most sympathizing with Tubman over her economic hardships."

He replaced it with, "Harriet Tubman wrote the first draft of the film The Parent Trap on the back of a Carls Jr. sandwich wrapper." I didn't check the paper before turning it in.

My teacher was not amused.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hatsforfish
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2014
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