Sweaty Puns

He has a wife now, and her name is Aunty Perspirant

Hot Poles filling pot holes.

Said to my father, "It's hot out there."

He said, "The sun must be out."

I said, "The son is out, trimming trees with the mom!"

Eyes rolled.

Eurek-a!!!

get it cause you reek = eurek

Also: don't pet the sweaty things

In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti

I was surprised when she came home with two sweaty men.

(This just transpired: I got sweaty cleaning out my shower and walked into the hall to cool off.)

Me to my SO: Shower is clean.

SO: oh good. Ew. You're gross

Me: yeah. I'm sweating.

14 y/o from down the hall in her room while painting her nails yells: "HI SWEATING!"

(I'm so proud)

Because you won't find a single Q in any of them.

...then you could say that you're under the weather of the weather which would be the same as saying that you're over the weather.

A director and a costume designer had a disagreement over a critical shot in the horror movie they were filming in their studio.

The director planned to use CGl for a brief but critical reveal-shot of the movie's monster. But the costume designer insisted they use an actual costume instead of CGl.

"CGl makes a movie look cheap these days," she proclaimed.

The two of them continued debating until they began arguing. The stage crew, actors on break, and other people around them began watching until both the costume designer and director were shouting over each other at the top of their lungs. Despite their efforts, nobody could calm them down.

Fearing the incident may lead to blows, one of cameramen called a studio security guard in urgent request. The guard arrived a minute later and made a beeline for the director and costume designer, who were being held back by multiple people on set.

"lt's my movie. l make the decisions!" the director hollered, hoarse and red in the eyes.

"The movie quality will suffer!" the costume designer screamed, hair plastered across her sweaty face.

The security guard stepped in-between them and raised his pistol at the ceiling without a word. They continued to argue around him. There was a bark of gunshot, then nothing but silence and some falling plaster.

"Now see here," the guard said loudly, stepping back to look at the two of them. "Either you two quit your bickering or l'll have to escort you off the premises. You're making a scene."

..Discus

I tried exercising, but I was allergic to it. My skin became flushed, my heart raced, and I got all sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.

And I bought her M&Ms for a snack. The movie is letting out and we are sitting there talking.

Her - "ugh the M&Ms are melted."

I begin to tell her M&Ms history about how they were made so soldiers could have chocolate without the worry of them melting.

Her -" but the shells are sweaty"

" yeah how else do you think they stay cool?"

She literally just got up and left while I was sitting there laughing my ass off.

The other day at work when my boss and I were both wearing Toms shoes:

Me: Ugh my feet are so sweaty
Boss: Me too and these shoes aren't even mine....
Me: Ew what?
Boss: These shoes aren't mine... they're Tom's!

But Boyardees titties sweaty today...