You could call it my pet project.
I guess I'm a feline-thropist now.
...poor little guy, covered in Paris Sites.
They might be trying to take a Pikachu.
A large dog, and a tiny dog. He knows that he can only catch one, because the other will flee before he can catch it. Which dog does he catch, and why?
A. The large dog, because it weighs more. (Dog catchers are paid by the pound.)
Laika million to one
I agreed and added that they don't even have associates.
So the lion starts running towards the dog with menace but the dog notices this and starts to panic.
As he's about to run he sees some bones on the ground next to him, gets an idea and says loudly, "Mmm... That was some good lion meat!"
The lion screeches to a halt and says, "Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can" and then runs away.
Over in a tree, is a monkey who sees everything and realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion what happened and getting something in return.
So the monkey finds the lion and tells him what really happened.
The lion says to the monkey angrily, "Get on my back, we'll get him together".
So the monkey climbs on the lion's back and they start rushing back to the dog.
The dog sees them, realizes what has happened and starts to panic even more.
But then he gets another idea and shouts, "Where is that monkey!?! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago!"
A Meowntain
Ruff
I think they need good Holmes.
But I found out and she had to let the cat out of the bag
Two astronauts stray too close to a black hole and start getting sucked in. The first one jumps to the controls and tries to save them. The other one gets his phone out and starts playing a game.
The first one looks over and is infuriated that he might die cos his colleague isn't helping so shouts
"Come and help, don't you understand the gravity of the situation?"
I said, β Are you sure your baby would like it?β
stray away
A guy was cutting with an acetylene torch when suddenly there is a break in the line. The acetelyne starts shooting up his arm and a stray spark ignites it. His arm bursts into flame. He starts running around the shop waving his arm around while it's on fire until someone hits him with the fire extinguisher.
After the fire is out and the EMT's arrive, the police are there taking statements from the witnesses. When the officer finishes this, he pulls out his handcuffs, goes over to the burned guy on the ground, pushes the EMT out of the way, and arrests the burned guy.
When he brings the guy to the station, the chief asks him why he arrested this guy when he clearly needs medical attention. The officer responded by saying "He was waving a firearm in public"
A soldier drags a power cable across a battlefield. He is leading the charge.
A stray bullet breaks the cable and the soldier gets electrocuted. He was shell shocked.
The soldier starts flailing, hitting another soldier. He was charged with assault.
The charge jumps to Soldier 2 on contact. It became assault and battery.
I'm really worried about stray fireworks this week.
Stray dogs.
Me: Oh look, honey! There's a stray cat. Hello Mr. Cat!
Cat: (ignores)
GF: Wow that was rude. Guess he's used to getting... catcalled.
So my dad just got his concealed weapons permit recently so for Christmas my step mom got him a new pistol. Since she didn't want to wrap a handgun, she printed out a flyer from Cabela's and taped it to a stray dumbbell weight to disguise it and wrapped them up in a small box.
When my dad opens the box, without missing a beat he coolly says, "Oh, look! A new pistol with the mandatory waiting period...."
Her name was Ninety and she had three kids. One day, the kids found a stray cat in their backyard and they decided to take care of it. However, they knew that their mother would disapprove, so in order to keep it a secret, they used "This" when referring to the cat. Eventually, the cat died of old age and the kids moved on with their lives. Therefore, only Ninety's kids will remember This.
He and his cousins found a stray dog. They picked him up by the tail and poured gasoline down his butt. The dog freaks out and starts running around the yard. He ran around the house two or three times and suddenly stopped right in front of him and that was the end of the story.
So everyone is appauled because that's insanely cruel and my dad is not that type of man. So we ask if the dog died.
"No, he just ran out of gas"
While driving to the grocery store we sat at a red light, my husband noticed a stray shoe sitting in the crosswalk. He wondered "how someone could lose just one shoe", and i said it was sad, he asked why:
"because they lost their sole-mate"
We were out in their patio, and my dad points to a small stray tomato plant, that somehow sprouted up a few feet from the large group of tomato plants they have.
Dad: "What should we do about that volunteer tomato plant?" Me: "Maybe you should start paying it!"
Commence my laughter, and my dad groaning, and my mom ignoring me.
