Strawberry Jam Puns

...from the fruits of our labor

Cons-serve

Jam packed

Strawberry Jam

And I'm dancing to a song when my mom asks me if this is my "jam". Without hesitation I pointed to the stack of strawberry jam packets and said "No, THIS is my jam!"

You guys trained me well :')

My roommate got a care package from his mother who sent him various odds and ends from his old place and some food that she made herself.

Roomate: "Whoa, sweet, she packed in some Jams too. Look, there's strawberry, apple, mango and blackberry."

Me: "So you're saying that box was jam-packed?"

Is that you coffin?

The first one was for when I got on board. Here's the one from when I was getting off the bus: What did one strawberry say to the other? If you weren't so sweet we wouldn't be in this jam!

He's a fantastic bus driver.

What did the scarf say to the hat?
You go on ahead I'll come around!

Why was the strawberry crying? Her mother was in a jam!

He said a couple more in rapid fire, we were groaning and laughing too hard to remember. He said Oprah told him to.

We were talking about jam that I made 11 years ago. I didn't dissolve the sugar properly, so Mom froze it, and will cook it down a bit before eating it.

She just found a jar that didn't need to be cooked down, and let me know. I replied "Holy cow! That's nuts!"

Her response? "No, it's not nuts! It's strawberry!! You must be thinking about peanut butter! lol"

The bus ride to the station had been very stressful. I spent the entire time worrying if the bus even stopped at the train station. I ended up spending nearly an hour making two loops around the city before I finally realized that I had to hop off near the station. Public transport. Jesus.

I'd missed the train I wanted to catch due to my hour-long bus ride, so I had some time to kill before the next one arrived. It had been cold and raining when I left in the morning, but by lunch time it was warm and I was sweating, standing on the station in a big yellow hoodie and jeans.

I had overslept and skipped breakfast earlier, so I resolved not to let the loud farts coming from the old man next to me kill my appetite. I was desperate for a snack.

Initially the vending machine told me it would accept "EXACT CHANGE ONLY". Slightly annoying, but no real problem: I just fished out my change, inserted some alternative coins and punched in the number. I watched the object of my desire inch forwards, ready to drop into the bottom where I could collect it. For some reason I was terrified that it might get stuck. Robbed by a robot, how embarrassing. Luckily the packet fell into the tray. Finally something was going my way.

As I reached into the bottom of the machine and pushed open the metal door, it suddenly stuck. It was wedged in place and the gap was too small for my snack to fit through. "Motherfucker..." I whispered under my breath.

But I was too invested to give up now. Determined not to be beaten by a bloody machine, I pulled hard and the packet burst, spilling chips into the tray. I managed to salvage about half of the crisps and ate them greedily. Partially crushed, but still deliciously cheesy.

At this point it occurred to me that perhaps I should tell the station operator that the vending machine was broken. I walked up to the ticket office and saw a bored, tired looking man in his forties. "I just thought I'd let you know the vending machine is jammed," I announced.

The attendant got up, walked over over to the vending machine and gave it a solid kick, dislodging the little metal door which had foiled me. When he turned to me again his expression had changed from boredom to amusement. "So what flavour was it then? Strawberry?"

I groaned, but couldn't resist a smile.

I knew it was going to be a good day.