Don't you HATE it when people Capitalize words sTrAnGeLy?

I guess shift happens.

πŸ‘︎ 160
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I was strangely satisfied when I ran over the neighbor's dog with my car...

It hit the Spot.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
British people look at me strangely when I say "nil."

It means nothing to them.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m feline strangely attracted.
πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm strangely attracted to geese. There's just something about them, an x-factor. They have a certain...

je ne sais quack.

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OgreMonk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2017
🚨︎ report
I find it strange that reckless drivers...

Wreck more.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supercman99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.

I call him Dr. Awkward.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a strange dream last night that I was a muffler.

I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My strange friend always baits his hooks with okra when fly fishing...

He's really into podcasting!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.

Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youthfulcomrade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
It may sound strange, but my fingers are my most reliable body part...

I can always count on them

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottyharp78
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Do T-Rex like explosions?

I'm not sure but another dino mite

πŸ‘︎ 301
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iceberger3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
An ice-cream van overturned in our road....

Avoid the area, as it has all been coned off.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Strange it seems, Alan Turning
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/homodemen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I met my wife at a singles bar...

Which was really strange, since I'd thought that I had left her at home looking after the kids.

πŸ‘︎ 482
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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This is a little Strange.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_PoodlePants
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't Apple employees wear dress shirts?

Everyone at Apple hates buttons and holes, that's why they get rid of both on their new products...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayFury55
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Vermeer was eerie, Vermeer was strange, he had his own color range imgur.com/gallery/NG4f9NU
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the flat earther find a strange sense of joy in this pandemic?

. . . . .

All over the world countries are trying to flatten the curve.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_brown_clown
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Dr. Strange on DVD, but I declined.

I had Stranger Things to watch.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Strange times are a pawn us
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punnybeings
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
There are historical accounts of Attila and his army seeing strange otherworldly ships hovering over the battlefields.

These were Hun Identified Flying Objects.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My 8 year old son's joke: What do you call an ox with big butt?

Buttocks

Source - from the jokes forum.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
When is a door, not a door?

When it is ajar.

(not mine sadly, from Father, Raised by Wolves tv show)

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Butterfly506
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

πŸ‘︎ 363
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
When the moon hits your eye, Like a big pizza pie, That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

πŸ‘︎ 680
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad was once playing the Game Of Life.

But strangely, he kept a dictionary as the only other player. I asked him what he was doing.

He said, β€œSon, in this game of life, you just need to play with words to make a good dad-joke!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keychainoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
This picture is killer
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChompyDino53
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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Why don’t Captain America and Dr. Strange respect each other?

Because there’s no honor amongst Steves.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheXMarkSpot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped in a woman’s body.

But then I was born.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Four men waiting in the hospital

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, β€œCongratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

β€œThat’s odd,” answers the man. β€œI work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, β€œCongratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

β€œThat’s weird,” answers the second man. β€œI work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, β€œCongratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

β€œThat’s strange,” he answers. β€œI work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. β€œWhat’s wrong?” the others ask.

β€œI work for 7 Up!”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Just what is it about all the Psychics that I visit, they're either totally depressed or too excitable..

..it's really hard to find the happy Medium.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
This sign is strange but I can’t put my finger on it
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperSamStudios
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

β€œYou rotten bastard," says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!”

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"

What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

πŸ‘︎ 212
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A Buddhist monk leave the monastery...

Dissatisfied with the style of life that he found there, The Monk decides to move into a suburban neighborhood and start up his own line of work. Being trained in the peaceful ways he gets on very well with his neighbours who eventually notice that he has a very strange profession. Despite being very strong and very philosophical The Monk elects to repeatedly visit places with broken fences and remove and replace them.

One day has neighbour approaches him and asks, "with the physical strength and mental capacity that you seem to have, are you not interested in a more physically or mentally challenging job?"

To which The Monk replies, "but everybody knows reposting gives you the most karma."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What a strange morning. First I find a hat full of money in the street and then I get chased by an angry guy with a guitar!
πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CormacN
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Some strange person dumped a bunch of legos on my front door step this morning.

I don’t know what to make of it.

πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
This tree has strange looking bear-ies
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deptar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a strange picket line on the way home today. The workers were carrying signs saying "WE MAKE TOO MUCH MONEY”

Then I noticed they were outside the mint.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marycartlizer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A man burst into a doctor's office and began asking all sorts of strange questions to the people waiting inside. When the doctor asked him to stop, he didn't. The doctor replied

You're really testing my patients.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrionHunter66
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been trying to get with a strange woman who lives in a Motel but she's playing hard to get.

Everytime I knock on her door she won't let me Inn.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Mom: Why is their a strange baby in the crib?

Dad: You told me to change the baby.

πŸ‘︎ 232
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingafer81
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.

Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeremywarne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought to myself, β€œThe streets seem strangely desserted…”

πŸ‘︎ 179
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Retgits
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

πŸ‘︎ 251
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report

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