Strange+ Puns

I can always count on them

. . . . .

All over the world countries are trying to flatten the curve.

I had Stranger Things to watch.

These were Hun Identified Flying Objects.

Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

Because there’s no honor amongst Steves.

He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

“You rotten bastard," says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!”

Then I noticed they were outside the mint.

Everytime I knock on her door she won't let me Inn.

I don’t know what to make of it.

then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar!

But I accidentally bought the Wong one

You're really testing my patients.

He has some very good CAPEabilities.

It's the only word with a double u in it

Dad: You told me to change the baby.

It’s enough to make a mango crazy.

He spoke very highly off it.

Have benedicted to Cumberbatch...

It gave me pause.

Well, It's Not Unusual.

I said, “Thank you very much, I’ll have it with milk and two sugars please.”

Cue-Cumberbatch

You might get hearing AIDS.

I just came to my feat!

"That's ok, I say, I am often a faux pa"

2019 will be odd too.

He called it a Benedict 'Cumber Batch.

He was presented a beautiful lady and told he had to kill her with cannibalism. This fighter has a good heart and could never do this, but if he did not oblige than both would die. He beat her to death and fed on the remains. Afterwards, it was revealed that the lady was actually quite evil and murdered children.

The camera pans out, it's Russell Crowe, he is Glad-he-ate-her.

Numbers that aren't divisible by 2.

This is my third bag of M&M this week that has all W’s and no M’s!

But the wife said "Who?"

It was exhausting!

It was a real unique corn.

I can't make heads or tails of it

I said, “Don’t worry. You’ll come around eventually.”

they call me Nostrildamus

But I think he would still appreciate the iron-knee

Nice to meet you, "Hate You Company!"

https://www.reddit.com/r/Rainbow6/comments/9ratic/ubisoft_im_hate_you_company_im_waiting_for/e8feb5j?utm_source=reddit-android

They're uncanny.

He was at the peak of productivity

Must have been a poultry-geist...

Turns out it was just a pipe dream.

I find it strange that blind people walk their dogs so much.

Didn't see a dead body but I did witness a Murder...

..."Don, we now are gay apparel."

I set my items on the counter, and the cashier starts ringing them up one after another while I wait patiently. I notice the guy in line behind me a few people still acting a little weird, antsy is how I would describe it.

Anyways, the cashier snaps me out of my thoughts by telling me my total and as I go to reach for my wallet, I see the guy dashing out the door.... as in transfixed on his fleeing image, my hand reaches my pocket and I realize he's stolen my wallet!

I make a mad dash for him, chasing him down in the middle of the parking lot. He reaches his vehicle at the other end and as he hops in, I catch up to him and I'm able to grab his leg. I start pulling his leg and pulling his leg harder and harder trying to get him out.

I keep pulling his leg very similarly to how I've been pulling your leg for the last minute.

"“If he be Mr. Hyde,” he had thought, “I shall be Mr. Seek.”"

Girl on the show is addicted to sniffing moth balls and he says:

"It must be hard for those moths to fly with balls that big."

The restroom didn't have any beds to take a nap after my meal.

Its days are numbered.

but backwards, it's even stranger!

Paper must be Jammin

If you ask me, that's pointless.

A toot uncommon.

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

...First I found a hat full of money...Then I got chased down the road by an angry man with a guitar?

I said, “No. I have Stranger Things to watch.”

I told her no. I had Stranger Things to watch.

I said, “No. I got Stranger Things to watch.”

I said, “Thank you very much, I’ll have it with milk and two sugars please.”

I said, “Thank you very much, I’ll have it with milk and two sugars please!"

A very odd year

I said, “Thank you very much, I’ll have it with milk and two sugars please.”