Strange Puns

As a number it's quite odd

Wreck more.

I woke up exhausted.

He's really into podcasting!

Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?

I can always count on them

I had Stranger Things to watch.

. . . . .

All over the world countries are trying to flatten the curve.

These were Hun Identified Flying Objects.

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

Because there’s no honor amongst Steves.

He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

“You rotten bastard," says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!”

I don’t know what to make of it.

Then I noticed they were outside the mint.

You're really testing my patients.

Dad: You told me to change the baby.

Everytime I knock on her door she won't let me Inn.

It’s enough to make a mango crazy.

But I accidentally bought the Wong one

...First I found a hat full of money...Then I got chased down the road by an angry man with a guitar?

He spoke very highly off it.

He has some very good CAPEabilities.

Have benedicted to Cumberbatch...

It's the only word with a double u in it

It gave me pause.

I said, “Thank you very much, I’ll have it with milk and two sugars please.”

Well, It's Not Unusual.

You might get hearing AIDS.

He was presented a beautiful lady and told he had to kill her with cannibalism. This fighter has a good heart and could never do this, but if he did not oblige than both would die. He beat her to death and fed on the remains. Afterwards, it was revealed that the lady was actually quite evil and murdered children.

The camera pans out, it's Russell Crowe, he is Glad-he-ate-her.

Numbers that aren't divisible by 2.

Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

I said, “No. I have Stranger Things to watch.”

I told her no. I had Stranger Things to watch.

then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar!

I said, “No. I got Stranger Things to watch.”