124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I donโ€™t think theyโ€™ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but donโ€™t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

โ€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, โ€˜The good news is..itโ€™ll feel better when it quits hurting.'โ€

Whatโ€™s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

โ€œIโ€™ll call you later!โ€- โ€œPlease donโ€™t do that. Iโ€™ve always asked you to call me Dad!โ€

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

โ€œMy dad

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๐Ÿ‘︎ 39
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/weeb123xD
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Step Ladder

We were out on a party boat that our family rented. My wife's uncle points to the ladder to climb out of the water back in the boat and says, "That's just my step ladder, I never knew my real ladder."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/howdoesinternet
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
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There's this new deli...

My uncle was talking about a new deli that was opening near us, and he goes, "I keep forgetting where, it's a new deli over in-" and my other uncle steps in and goes, "India?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SwingingSalmon
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 31 2016
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I went on a cruise with my family last week.

On the first day of the cruise, we were required to attend an emergency drill called a "muster drill." The crew members that demonstrate the steps for us to take are called "musters."

My uncle asked the muster, "So what do you do when you're not a muster?"

My grandfather replied for her with, "She's a ketchup!"

All the dads in the room chuckled.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 70
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CarlQueenston
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
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