What’s Irish, stays out all summer and goes inside in winter?

Patio Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marasydnyjade
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
Martha had always listened to her parents when they said β€˜stay away from fire’, but today, her interests got the best of her and she intentionally lit herself on fire just to see what it felt like.

Martha was burning with curiosity

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/husbus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
I promised my classmate I’d stay totally still whilst he did his maths homework against my back.

β€œGood” he said, β€œbecause I’m counting on you”.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KikkoAndMoonman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
🚨︎ report
I'm having second thoughts about my appointment to stay at a Native American hotel.

I'm having reservation reservation reservation. (BR)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
🚨︎ report
In order to stay healthy during this pandemic, I’ve been dancing in public while insulting people.

I practice social diss dancing.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
How else would they stay warm all winter?
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
With a pandemic happening, I said to my nurse friend: "Stay safe!"

Their response: β€œYou, too; stay negative!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarisaberry
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
🚨︎ report
Stay safe
πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Broccobama_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
Why should you stay calm when meeting a hungry cannibal?

Because it's no good getting in a stew.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YaBoi245
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
How do celebrities stay cool

They have many fans

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
They better stay peaceful cause other wise they might get chased.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
2019: stay away from negative people

2020:stay away from positive people

πŸ‘︎ 234
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/popcorn_21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
peace out, stay happy!
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snickers_rectal
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
My new year's resolution is to stay alive

It's a do or die

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlankyCranky
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
What’s Irish and stays out all night?

Patio Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DVD90
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...

"Swarm."

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
What’s Irish and stays out all summer?

Patty O’Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 330
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/perpetualbarista
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
What's Irish and stays out all night?

Patty O'Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shaystibelman
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
What are the working hours for stay at home parents of little boys?

Son up to son down.

πŸ‘︎ 188
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boilerup4444
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
Stay safe
πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iniesta103
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
Of course I'm not. I'm going to stay at home. That has nothing to do with the lockdown though!
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
Always stay 2 meters apart
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MBirchall
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
What’s Irish and stays outside all year?

Patty O’Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/britterzl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
I respect the people who are able to sit and stay at home during these times.

They are my idles.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
Well since quarantine is making me stay at home...

I’ll be making mostly inside jokes

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsplanty
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
The police department made all homicide detectives stay under quarantine for two weeks.

>!They had coroner-virus.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
My friend didn't want to exit the EU, so now he stays home making wigs for horses..

A true re-maner

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
I’m really liking the fact I have to stay in doors all day because of this quarantine

It really gets my indoorphins up and running.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
How do you tell a priest to stay safe?

Tell him to exorcise caution

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Watermelencholy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
Everybody stay calm
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlinMaior
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
I would stay away from the Soviet Union

There's a lot of red flags you need to watch out for.

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eireannach0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Let's all try to stay positive during these challenging times.

So if anyone asks, tell them you're Coronavirus positive πŸ‘

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thedotmack
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
I'm concerned people aren't staying in and taking the whole stay at home order seriously

Car dealerships have more cars in their lots than ever!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EinHeldenle_Ben
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
Stay inside, practise social distancing and keep clean...

Meow meow meow, we are becoming cats 🐈

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
I find with the weather heating up, whether I stay inside or go outside...

I’m getting Spring Fever.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/isleag07
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
Two hats are hanging on a hat rack. One says to the other: you stay here

I'll go on ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tacoenthusiast
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
During these uncertain times I prefer to stay away from automobile dealerships.

Before you know it you have car-owner virus.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sur5er
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
How do priests stay fit?

They exorcise

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BenisbacK_1900
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why should you stay in the corner when you are cold?

Because it's 90 degrees over there

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
What happens in the intestines stays in the intestines.

Oh I forgot. Crap.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sir-adrian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
What happens in the poke center stays in the pokecenter
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fawaffle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend lets disenfranchised people stay with him for free...

A lessor-man would charge them rent.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
Why did the Egyptians stay in Egypt instead of move somewhere greener

Denile

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C3Life
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Maybe you could stay with me for a little whale...
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZGURemixer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How did dancers in the 70s stay on their feet at a disco?

With the grooves in their sole!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
If a bicycle can't stay up on its own because it's two-tired, then why can a motor cycle stay up?

It's more revved up

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
How does steve from minecraft stay so fit?

He runs around the block

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Darius_Skucas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Why should you stay away from any marine life that has been removed from the water?

Because they're all de-seas'd animals.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redditaccount314
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call numbers that can't stay still?

Roamin' Numerals

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xX_Noosh_Xx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Wife: I'm having second thoughts about booking a week long stay at the teepee camp

Me: No, you're just having a reservation reservation reservation

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
How do hens stay fit?

They always egg-cercise!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s fun to stay at the
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Acoped
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s Irish and stays out all night?

Patty O’Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 790
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrspencernorth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Up next: How to sound good in a band. Stay Tuned!!
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jc123ucme
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What do astronauts use to stay warm?

Space Heaters

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/liljacobs05
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do beekeepers stay on vacation?

Air bee and bee.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Thought this could stay here for a bit.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-boulder-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Female squirrels like to stay close to the males...

... but only 'cause their nuts.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Where does santa stay during a holiday?

In a ho ho hotel

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/g0lden3agle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my boss that three companies were after me, and I needed a raise to stay at my current job.

"Which companies are after you?" my boss asked. "Gas, electric and cable" I responded.

πŸ‘︎ 179
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s called a stain because it’s stay’n.
πŸ‘︎ 345
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lukiiiiii
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The next Disney+ project, is a Star Wars/ Back to the Future crossover. Deer Brown gets a bounty hunter to stay in the car.

That way, they'll always have the Manned Delorean available.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
How do rockstars stay so cool?

Their fans

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/74CK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
transformers stay winning
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dirty_dan421
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What's Irish and stays outside all year long?

Paddy O'Furniture.

Edited for the correct spelling.

πŸ‘︎ 606
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fenris2020
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
If Spiderman stays with Sony the next movie should be called "Spiderman Far From the MCU"
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/foodie487
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A father and his son are on a roof, the father falls off but the kid stays on, why?

He was a little moron

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/butcher106
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the fish stay in grad school?

Because all of his grades were under a sea

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unclerudy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Son, stay away from girls with an hourglass figure ...

They're a complete waist of time

πŸ‘︎ 117
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news; Count Chocula, the Stay-Puft marshamallow man and Teddy Graham, the Teddy Graham's cookie mascot, all died in a house fire today.

S'more to come at 21.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did ET stay in bed so long?

He slept extra, to rest really well.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeremywarne
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Y'all stay frosty out there ok
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RyugaLD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s Irish and stays out all winter?

Patty O’Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jrfine52
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
We went to Croatia but didn't stay long

we just went to zagreb and split.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/carpenter20m
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My local golf shop is selling all its stock to stay in business. The putters, the drivers and the irons are all gone, but they are not out of the woods yet.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ATX_Stig
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn't you stay close to a speaker all the time?

Because it hertz your ears!

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PixlatedTron
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can’t you stay up until the cows come home?

Because it’s pasture bedtime.

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Juggernautx22
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter is doing a workbook to stay up on school in the summer. One of the assignments is to right a joke.

Her joke: β€œI’m going to turn 9 on Wednesday. It’s going to be quite a birthday”

Hi going to turn 9 on Wednesday. It’s going to be quite a birthday. I’m Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkkwraith
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
So my fiance recently divorced from her stay at home ex whose name is Ali. He was making a fuss about not getting his cash settlements from the divorce. I had to calm her down and tell her to

Pay Alimony.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roha5090
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a matador stay safe in the ring?

They wear a bull-proof vest.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghosttwo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.

It was out last resort.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does Black Panther stay when he's in New York?

His wakondo.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Truebman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay
πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cparara1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said I could try lunges to stay in shape

That would be a big step forward for me

πŸ‘︎ 210
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshPlaysUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
why can't a bicycle stay upright in its own

because its two tired

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PowerfulSoil9
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a stay at home queen?

A maiden

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bruhmomentinator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
You know, you need to stay away from that orange piece of tarmac

He's a bit of a cycle path

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anassis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Son: dad, I feel cold. Dad: stay in the corner. Son: why?

Dad: because it's 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyStar1991
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
How do celebrities stay cool?

They have many fans.

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zuckerschneggle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...

"Swarm."

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
How do priests stay fit?

They exorcise

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bease23
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do bees stay in the hive over winter?

β€˜Swarm.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/potatostomach
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How do hens stay fit?

They always egg-cercise!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How do hens stay fit?

They always egg-cercise!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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