Apparently, they didn't do the math but they did the meth.
A female friend of mine has a sexual fantasy of being choked during sex (which she exposed during a drunken... "moment"), I am a bad person and find great pleasure in exploiting this via subtle public humiliation! SO, what choking puns have we got to offer?! I'd think of my own but I go to say them and I just choke...
The professor asked us what a pirate's favourite letter was. We all grudgingly answered "R..." in unison. "NAY," he replied. "It's the C!"
Student: "I have a general question."
Professor: "Well I'm only a major but I will try and help!"
He was grocery shopping with his 4 kids and a guy went by and said
"Daddy sure looks like his hands are full!"
And his youngest daughter, Elaina who is around 7,replied
"Actually, if you look at my dad right now, his hands are clearly empty."
Student- S Teacher- T
S: Hey Mr. Frizzle, can I go to the bathroom?
T: What's up with you having to go the bathroom so much lately?
S: I haven't gone to the restroom in like 3 weeks!
T: Oh my god! Run! No one can last that long!
I read that somewhere.
“Trick or Treatment!”
(Told to me by one of my stats students. I’m incredibly proud.)
Teacher: “What will next week’s test be on?”
Class: “Confidence intervals and….”
Teacher: “No, it’ll be on paper.”
Class: “Ugh…”
Teacher: “And how long will it be?”
Class: “Umm, like, ten questions?”
Teacher: “No, 8.5 by 11 inches.”
Class: “Goddamnit.”
Now that 2019 is around the corner, you can achieve ultimate dad stats by sending a message to your contacts near the end of 2018. Then, send "Why did you wait a year to respond ?".
This only works once a year so be prepared.
I am at the beach with my family for Christmas and I need some high quality fish puns STAT! Thanks ahead of time.
Wife is sitting on the couch, couple friends are over to plan our upcoming D&D campaign. One friend, named Joe, is rolling stats and getting mediocre results.
I lean over, stare hard at my wife, and say, "Looks like he's just an average Joe..."
I wanted someone to make me a cappuccino, so I said in a Facebook post announcing, 'Someone make me a cappuccino STAT.' My dad responded with, 'O.K. - you're a cappuccino.'
Proud to be related to that man.
I was in a stats course and we were doing some regression. To estimate the parameters, we need to square a bunch of differences and add them up. This is called the "Sum of Squares," so I leaned over to my friend and asked "Why not all of them?"
Fortunately my friends are needs, too.
Sorry, but all I have is, I need ADOORable puns.
Thank you guys, keep it coming!
