The laziest statistical distribution
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πŸ‘€︎ u/antirabbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What is the statistical definition of sunlight?

Day, duh

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ekrub1022
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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A recent statistical study shows that 20% of the people...

...Are two tense!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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Statistical analysis shows that quality of life among dwarves is very poor:

6 out of 7 are not happy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SapperInTexas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2016
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If Microsoft had a statistical AI in China that dealt with search queries, it would be called....

An Asian Bayesian Beijing Bing Being

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nightmare1zero1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2016
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My standup routine about statistical inaccuracy went really badly...

It was a comedy of errors.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Middlerun
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2017
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Unintended statistics pun. imgur.com/nRLJ0AQ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gargolito
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
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It has been shown that cows raised in Mexico are statistically happier on average than cows raised in other countries

They've been reported as feeling "mooey bien"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmazinBacon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Why are men statistically more likely to drown than women?

Because women are boyn't

πŸ‘︎ 412
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SCP-3388
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Statistics shows that people who have the most birthdays....

.....live the longest.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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87.9% of all statistics...

...are made up right there on the spot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EcksMarksDespot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Why did the average statistics get detention?

Because it was very Mean Data!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Statistically do you know the main reason for divorce?

Marriage

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterKayfabe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.

The N’s justify the means.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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Statistically, you are more likely to be killed by a donkey than by a terrorist attack.

So watch your ass.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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What do you call a happy statistic?

Horatio

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smiledude94
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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Old Statistics Teachers never die.

They just get mean. (I know ... just an average joke)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Truculent1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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Applied Statistics.
πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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All I do in my statistics class is subtract the average number from data sets.

It’s demeaning.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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Statistics show that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are unfaithful....

Now I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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According to statistics,

people who are mean tend to be average.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LosreDorke
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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Statistically, some of you will like this.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyNameIsGriffon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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A Statistically Accurate Joke

Three statisticians go deer hunting. After some time passes, they come upon a buck.

The first shoots at it and misses by 30 yards to the right.

The second takes a shot and misses by 30 yards to the left.

The third jumps up and yells, β€œWe got him! We got him!β€œ

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gabriel_Aurelius
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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Statistics show a person in the US is stabbed every 54 minutes.

I'd hate to be that guy.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dingwanginc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
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Statistics say that R2-D2 is the most vulgar movie character ever.

They beeped out everything he said!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScheidNation21
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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My AP Statistics Teacher is Clearly a Dad

Teacher: β€œWhat will next week’s test be on?”

Class: β€œConfidence intervals and….”

Teacher: β€œNo, it’ll be on paper.”

Class: β€œUgh…”

Teacher: β€œAnd how long will it be?”

Class: β€œUmm, like, ten questions?”

Teacher: β€œNo, 8.5 by 11 inches.”

Class: β€œGoddamnit.”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2014
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Statistics say that 1 out of every 4 people

Make up a quarter of the population

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Richboy12345
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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Statistically, if you take the entire population of the US and cut them in half

they’ll die.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReddicaPolitician
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2018
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My math teacher was really particular. She loved doing statistics and algebra....

But graphing is where she drew the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/santafesmike
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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Statistics say you are most likely to get in a car accident within 1.5 km of your house.

I'm moving!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NormanBurgundy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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Statistically

One in ten hands have no friends and are usually left alone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guy_who_post
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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My son failed his statistics exam last term.

I mean--What are the chances?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2018
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Handful of marine statistics

3,14% of every sailors are Ο€rates.

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πŸ“…︎ May 17 2017
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My statistics teacher told me I was an average student

How mean!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zoidberg528
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
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If statistics state that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea...

does that mean 1 enjoys it?


EDIT: Ha! I'm glad to see I was right about this joke! It was actually in one of my latest youtube videos and I even referenced /r/dadjokes. Apparently I was spot on!

Here's the link if you want to see it: http://youtu.be/9o0giMlJHMc?t=1m40s

(Warning: it's Call of Duty)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Budd_Manlove
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2014
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Probably 1/5 people make up random statistics.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/web8564j
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
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In one of my statistics classes, we were given a task to measure and analyze the fumes coming from tailpipes of various cars and to track their environmental impact.

It was exhausting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sum_buddy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2017
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Dad-joked my Statistics class

On Thursday, I was in Statistics class, when all of the sudden, a girl from another math class nonchalantly wandered into our classroom, grabbed a few tissues from our class tissue box, and walked out, without saying a word. My teacher then jokingly suggested that our class track down people who take our classrooms tissues.

I then responded by saying, "At least she didn't take any of our paper towels. Because then, we would have to hire a Bounty hunter."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EPIDIDYMIS_HUMMUS
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2014
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Read a sad news article about rising depression statistics amongst dwarves

Apparently, only one in seven calls themselves happy

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClownPrinceOfMime
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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Statistically,

6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abskkr24
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Did you know that statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t Happy?
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/graemeboyle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrScotty15
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2017
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Did you know that statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t happy.
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Statistically,

6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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Statistics say that 1 out if 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.

This worries me heavily, it could either be my wife or my girlfriend!

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDPhoenix-8632
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful

I just need to work out if that’s my wife or my girlfriend.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeezHades
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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63% of all statistics are made up.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UofTCadet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Statistically you’re more likely to be killed by a donkey than a terrorist attack.

So watch your ass.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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All I did in my statistics class was subtract the average from a bunch of data points.

It was very demeaning.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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