The laziest statistical distribution
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︎ Dec 24 2020
What is the statistical definition of sunlight?
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︎ Jul 09 2019
A recent statistical study shows that 20% of the people...
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︎ Apr 25 2019
Statistical analysis shows that quality of life among dwarves is very poor:
6 out of 7 are not happy.
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︎ Apr 13 2016
If Microsoft had a statistical AI in China that dealt with search queries, it would be called....
An Asian Bayesian Beijing Bing Being
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︎ Aug 20 2016
My standup routine about statistical inaccuracy went really badly...
It was a comedy of errors.
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︎ Apr 27 2017
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︎ Aug 27 2016
It has been shown that cows raised in Mexico are statistically happier on average than cows raised in other countries
They've been reported as feeling "mooey bien"
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Why are men statistically more likely to drown than women?
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︎ Aug 25 2020
Statistics shows that people who have the most birthdays....
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︎ Dec 02 2020
87.9% of all statistics...
...are made up right there on the spot.
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Why did the average statistics get detention?
Because it was very Mean Data!
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︎ Nov 24 2020
Statistically do you know the main reason for divorce?
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︎ Sep 11 2020
My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.
The Nβs justify the means.
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︎ Sep 30 2018
Statistically, you are more likely to be killed by a donkey than by a terrorist attack.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
What do you call a happy statistic?
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︎ Jan 13 2020
Old Statistics Teachers never die.
They just get mean. (I know ... just an average joke)
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︎ Aug 02 2019
Applied Statistics.
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︎ Jun 02 2019
All I do in my statistics class is subtract the average number from data sets.
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︎ Dec 03 2019
Statistics show that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are unfaithful....
Now I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend.
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︎ Mar 26 2019
According to statistics,
people who are mean tend to be average.
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︎ Dec 22 2019
Statistically, some of you will like this.
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︎ Aug 05 2019
A Statistically Accurate Joke
Three statisticians go deer hunting. After some time passes, they come upon a buck.
The first shoots at it and misses by 30 yards to the right.
The second takes a shot and misses by 30 yards to the left.
The third jumps up and yells, βWe got him! We got him!β
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︎ Feb 14 2019
Statistics show a person in the US is stabbed every 54 minutes.
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︎ Oct 13 2015
Statistics say that R2-D2 is the most vulgar movie character ever.
They beeped out everything he said!
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︎ May 11 2019
My AP Statistics Teacher is Clearly a Dad
Teacher: βWhat will next weekβs test be on?β
Class: βConfidence intervals andβ¦.β
Teacher: βNo, itβll be on paper.β
Class: βUghβ¦β
Teacher: βAnd how long will it be?β
Class: βUmm, like, ten questions?β
Teacher: βNo, 8.5 by 11 inches.β
Class: βGoddamnit.β
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︎ Dec 05 2014
Statistics say that 1 out of every 4 people
Make up a quarter of the population
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︎ Mar 31 2019
Statistically, if you take the entire population of the US and cut them in half
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︎ Feb 20 2018
My math teacher was really particular. She loved doing statistics and algebra....
But graphing is where she drew the line.
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︎ Jun 30 2019
Statistics say you are most likely to get in a car accident within 1.5 km of your house.
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︎ Apr 06 2019
Statistically
One in ten hands have no friends and are usually left alone
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︎ Jan 27 2019
My son failed his statistics exam last term.
I mean--What are the chances?
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︎ Jan 12 2018
Handful of marine statistics
3,14% of every sailors are Οrates.
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︎ May 17 2017
My statistics teacher told me I was an average student
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︎ May 08 2017
If statistics state that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea...
does that mean 1 enjoys it?
EDIT: Ha! I'm glad to see I was right about this joke! It was actually in one of my latest youtube videos and I even referenced /r/dadjokes. Apparently I was spot on!
Here's the link if you want to see it: http://youtu.be/9o0giMlJHMc?t=1m40s
(Warning: it's Call of Duty)
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︎ Apr 04 2014
Probably 1/5 people make up random statistics.
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︎ Jul 16 2018
In one of my statistics classes, we were given a task to measure and analyze the fumes coming from tailpipes of various cars and to track their environmental impact.
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︎ Sep 07 2017
Dad-joked my Statistics class
On Thursday, I was in Statistics class, when all of the sudden, a girl from another math class nonchalantly wandered into our classroom, grabbed a few tissues from our class tissue box, and walked out, without saying a word. My teacher then jokingly suggested that our class track down people who take our classrooms tissues.
I then responded by saying, "At least she didn't take any of our paper towels. Because then, we would have to hire a Bounty hunter."
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︎ May 24 2014
Read a sad news article about rising depression statistics amongst dwarves
Apparently, only one in seven calls themselves happy
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︎ Jun 18 2018
Statistically,
6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
Did you know that statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves arenβt Happy?
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︎ Nov 04 2019
Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy
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︎ Aug 19 2017
Did you know that statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves arenβt happy.
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︎ Nov 06 2019
Statistically,
6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.
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︎ Jul 22 2019
Statistics say that 1 out if 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.
This worries me heavily, it could either be my wife or my girlfriend!
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︎ Aug 17 2019
Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful
I just need to work out if thatβs my wife or my girlfriend.
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︎ Mar 27 2019
63% of all statistics are made up.
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︎ Feb 22 2019
Statistically youβre more likely to be killed by a donkey than a terrorist attack.
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︎ Jan 28 2019
All I did in my statistics class was subtract the average from a bunch of data points.
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︎ Sep 11 2018
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