Unintended statistics pun. imgur.com/nRLJ0AQ
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π€︎ u/gargolito
π︎ Aug 27 2016
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There once was a large group of people that were fascinated by statistics.

The group ended when they proved to be too mean.

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π€︎ u/Jester57
π︎ May 13 2021
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As a huge sports statistics geek, I tend to store all my documents related to high school and collegiate athletes up high.

That way, I can keep a low pro file.

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π€︎ u/astrosmash77
π︎ May 21 2021
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Statistics shows that people who have the most birthdays....

.....live the longest.

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π€︎ u/VERBERD
π︎ Dec 02 2020
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87.9% of all statistics...

...are made up right there on the spot.

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π€︎ u/EcksMarksDespot
π︎ Nov 16 2020
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My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.

The Nβs justify the means.

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π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Sep 30 2018
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What do you call a happy statistic?

Horatio

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π€︎ u/smiledude94
π︎ Jan 13 2020
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Old Statistics Teachers never die.

They just get mean. (I know ... just an average joke)

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π€︎ u/Truculent1
π︎ Aug 02 2019
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Applied Statistics.
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π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Jun 02 2019
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Statistics show that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are unfaithful....

Now I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend.

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π€︎ u/ElderHallow
π︎ Mar 26 2019
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All I do in my statistics class is subtract the average number from data sets.

Itβs demeaning.

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π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Dec 03 2019
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According to statistics,

people who are mean tend to be average.

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π€︎ u/LosreDorke
π︎ Dec 22 2019
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Statistics show a person in the US is stabbed every 54 minutes.

I'd hate to be that guy.

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π€︎ u/Dingwanginc
π︎ Oct 13 2015
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Statistics say that R2-D2 is the most vulgar movie character ever.

They beeped out everything he said!

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π€︎ u/ScheidNation21
π︎ May 11 2019
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My AP Statistics Teacher is Clearly a Dad

Teacher: βWhat will next weekβs test be on?β

Class: βConfidence intervals andβ¦.β

Teacher: βNo, itβll be on paper.β

Class: βUghβ¦β

Teacher: βAnd how long will it be?β

Class: βUmm, like, ten questions?β

Teacher: βNo, 8.5 by 11 inches.β

Class: βGoddamnit.β

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π︎ Dec 05 2014
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Statistics say that 1 out of every 4 people

Make up a quarter of the population

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π€︎ u/Richboy12345
π︎ Mar 31 2019
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My math teacher was really particular. She loved doing statistics and algebra....

But graphing is where she drew the line.

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π€︎ u/santafesmike
π︎ Jun 30 2019
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Statistics say you are most likely to get in a car accident within 1.5 km of your house.

I'm moving!

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π€︎ u/NormanBurgundy
π︎ Apr 06 2019
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My son failed his statistics exam last term.

I mean--What are the chances?

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π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Jan 12 2018
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If statistics state that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea...

does that mean 1 enjoys it?

Here's the link if you want to see it: http://youtu.be/9o0giMlJHMc?t=1m40s

(Warning: it's Call of Duty)

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π€︎ u/Budd_Manlove
π︎ Apr 04 2014
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My statistics teacher told me I was an average student

How mean!

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π€︎ u/zoidberg528
π︎ May 08 2017
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Probably 1/5 people make up random statistics.
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π€︎ u/web8564j
π︎ Jul 16 2018
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Handful of marine statistics

3,14% of every sailors are Οrates.

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π︎ May 17 2017
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In one of my statistics classes, we were given a task to measure and analyze the fumes coming from tailpipes of various cars and to track their environmental impact.

It was exhausting.

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π€︎ u/sum_buddy
π︎ Sep 07 2017
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On Thursday, I was in Statistics class, when all of the sudden, a girl from another math class nonchalantly wandered into our classroom, grabbed a few tissues from our class tissue box, and walked out, without saying a word. My teacher then jokingly suggested that our class track down people who take our classrooms tissues.

I then responded by saying, "At least she didn't take any of our paper towels. Because then, we would have to hire a Bounty hunter."

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π€︎ u/EPIDIDYMIS_HUMMUS
π︎ May 24 2014
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Apparently, only one in seven calls themselves happy

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π€︎ u/ClownPrinceOfMime
π︎ Jun 18 2018
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There is a reason why conservatives mistrust statistics.

Itβs all because of the left-wing liberal median.

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π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Dec 20 2017
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Statistics teacher dropped this one on us today imgur.com/dNFvDBT
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π€︎ u/runklesaurus
π︎ Sep 18 2013
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A lot of politicians use statistics like a bikini.

They reveal what is suggestive, but conceal what is vital.

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π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Dec 24 2017
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I had a statistics exam yesterday.

The first part in the exam paper was multiple choice. After the exam a few friends and I were discussing the answers to the multiple choice, question 2 was "Calculate the mean from the following data"

Me: "what did you get for Q2, the 'mean' question?"

Friend: "What? Q2 asked to calculate the median "

Me: "Noo..I guess I didn't read the question properly. I calculate the mean. And the answer for the mean was one of the choices. I guess, they knew some people would be stupid enough to calculate the mean instead of the median, so they put the mean as one of the choices, and I selected that answer."

Friend: "That's just mean!"

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π€︎ u/TheRationalMan
π︎ Dec 13 2015
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Should be called Sabermetrics.

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π€︎ u/shinisgonnawin
π︎ Dec 18 2015
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Exchange between a friend who is a statistics professor and his daughter (he's on the right)

http://imgur.com/a/Uhd4b

I submitted to /r/funny but apparently text messaging posts break one of the mods laws or something. Thought y'all might appreciate it instead.

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π︎ Nov 18 2016
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New Statistic Released

My step-father pulled this one on me last night:

Recent studies have shown that 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.

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π€︎ u/NightHawk54
π︎ Mar 24 2016
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Friend: "Have you heard the study that says that when you take a female or African American's job application and replace only the name with 'Steve', that subject is 86% more likely to get the job he or she is applying for?

Me: "Well of course. No one can resist giving Steve Jobs!"

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π€︎ u/acoustic_wave
π︎ Mar 06 2014
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Statistics say that 1 out if 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.

This worries me heavily, it could either be my wife or my girlfriend!

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π€︎ u/JDPhoenix-8632
π︎ Aug 17 2019
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63% of all statistics are made up.
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π︎ Feb 22 2019
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All I did in my statistics class was subtract the average from a bunch of data points.

It was very demeaning.

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π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Sep 11 2018
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87% of statistics are made up on the spot.
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π€︎ u/NegativePrimitive
π︎ Dec 29 2017
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