A list of puns related to "Statistic"

Unintended statistics pun. imgur.com/nRLJ0AQ

There once was a large group of people that were fascinated by statistics.

The group ended when they proved to be too mean.

As a huge sports statistics geek, I tend to store all my documents related to high school and collegiate athletes up high.

That way, I can keep a low pro file.

Statistics shows that people who have the most birthdays....

.....live the longest.

87.9% of all statistics...

...are made up right there on the spot.

My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.

The Nβs justify the means.

What do you call a happy statistic?

Horatio

Old Statistics Teachers never die.

They just get mean. (I know ... just an average joke)

Applied Statistics.

Statistics show that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are unfaithful....

Now I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend.

All I do in my statistics class is subtract the average number from data sets.

Itβs demeaning.

According to statistics,

people who are mean tend to be average.

Statistics show a person in the US is stabbed every 54 minutes.

I'd hate to be that guy.

Statistics say that R2-D2 is the most vulgar movie character ever.

They beeped out everything he said!

My AP Statistics Teacher is Clearly a Dad

Teacher: βWhat will next weekβs test be on?β

Class: βConfidence intervals andβ¦.β

Teacher: βNo, itβll be on paper.β

Class: βUghβ¦β

Teacher: βAnd how long will it be?β

Class: βUmm, like, ten questions?β

Teacher: βNo, 8.5 by 11 inches.β

Class: βGoddamnit.β

Statistics say that 1 out of every 4 people

Make up a quarter of the population

My math teacher was really particular. She loved doing statistics and algebra....

But graphing is where she drew the line.

Statistics say you are most likely to get in a car accident within 1.5 km of your house.

I'm moving!

My son failed his statistics exam last term.

I mean--What are the chances?

If statistics state that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea...

does that mean 1 enjoys it?

EDIT: Ha! I'm glad to see I was right about this joke! It was actually in one of my latest youtube videos and I even referenced /r/dadjokes. Apparently I was spot on!

Here's the link if you want to see it: http://youtu.be/9o0giMlJHMc?t=1m40s

(Warning: it's Call of Duty)

My statistics teacher told me I was an average student

How mean!

Probably 1/5 people make up random statistics.

Handful of marine statistics

3,14% of every sailors are Οrates.

In one of my statistics classes, we were given a task to measure and analyze the fumes coming from tailpipes of various cars and to track their environmental impact.

It was exhausting.

Dad-joked my Statistics class

On Thursday, I was in Statistics class, when all of the sudden, a girl from another math class nonchalantly wandered into our classroom, grabbed a few tissues from our class tissue box, and walked out, without saying a word. My teacher then jokingly suggested that our class track down people who take our classrooms tissues.

I then responded by saying, "At least she didn't take any of our paper towels. Because then, we would have to hire a *Bounty* hunter."

Read a sad news article about rising depression statistics amongst dwarves

Apparently, only one in seven calls themselves happy

There is a reason why conservatives mistrust statistics.

Itβs all because of the left-wing liberal median.

Statistics teacher dropped this one on us today imgur.com/dNFvDBT

A lot of politicians use statistics like a bikini.

They reveal what is suggestive, but conceal what is vital.

I had a statistics exam yesterday.

The first part in the exam paper was multiple choice. After the exam a few friends and I were discussing the answers to the multiple choice, question 2 was "Calculate the mean from the following data"

Me: "what did you get for Q2, the 'mean' question?"

Friend: "What? Q2 asked to calculate the median "

Me: "Noo..I guess I didn't read the question properly. I calculate the mean. And the answer for the mean was one of the choices. I guess, they knew some people would be stupid enough to calculate the mean instead of the median, so they put the mean as one of the choices, and I selected that answer."

Friend: "That's just mean!"

Twitter statistics on "Star Wars"...

Should be called Sabermetrics.

Exchange between a friend who is a statistics professor and his daughter (he's on the right)

http://imgur.com/a/Uhd4b

I submitted to /r/funny but apparently text messaging posts break one of the mods laws or something. Thought y'all might appreciate it instead.

New Statistic Released

My step-father pulled this one on me last night:

Recent studies have shown that 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.

I Dad-Joked a Statistic Today.

Friend: "Have you heard the study that says that when you take a female or African American's job application and replace only the name with 'Steve', that subject is 86% more likely to get the job he or she is applying for?

Me: "Well of course. No one can resist giving *Steve Jobs*!"

Statistics say that 1 out if 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.

This worries me heavily, it could either be my wife or my girlfriend!

63% of all statistics are made up.

All I did in my statistics class was subtract the average from a bunch of data points.

It was very demeaning.

87% of statistics are made up on the spot.

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