Watson is the most famous doctor in the world

if not, Who is

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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There once was a large group of people that were fascinated by statistics.

The group ended when they proved to be too mean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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Sherlock Holmes looks at Doctor Watson and says:

"Watson, how come your first name is Doctor?"

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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Come, Watson
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πŸ‘€︎ u/worldstallest
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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Sherlock and Watson arrived on the scene of a murder and the only clue was a measuring tape pulled out to exactly 12 inches.

Apparently something was afoot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kesavadh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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What did the Doctor say to the constipated detective?

No shit Sherlock?

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_mash_king
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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The laziest statistical distribution
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πŸ‘€︎ u/antirabbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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It has been shown that cows raised in Mexico are statistically happier on average than cows raised in other countries

They've been reported as feeling "mooey bien"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmazinBacon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Why are men statistically more likely to drown than women?

Because women are boyn't

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SCP-3388
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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β€œHey, Watson, is that mud on your shoes?”

β€œNo. Shit, Sherlock.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Statistics shows that people who have the most birthdays....

.....live the longest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Statistically,

6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abskkr24
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Sherlock Holmes walks into a bar

Sherlock Holmes walks into a bar and orders an IPA. "I've earned this, I just finished my tax return," he tells the bartender. "Luckily I'm getting tons of cash back, thanks to all my brilliant deductions."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firegoat1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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87.9% of all statistics...

...are made up right there on the spot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EcksMarksDespot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Why did the average statistics get detention?

Because it was very Mean Data!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. ..

After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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What did Watson say to Sherlock Holmes after peeing?

No shit, Sherlock

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shity_redditor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Detective Holmes: "Watson, what's taking so long in there?"

Watson (constipated): "No shit, Sherlock."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/misterrandom1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Watson and Holmes go out camping.

Holmes noticed that Watson was looking a bit sick for a few days.

"What's wrong, Watson?", he asked. "You seem a bit down."

"Nothing, Holmes. Just having some stomach problems." Watson said. "Constipation, you know. I've suffered for a while."

"Constipation? So you have trouble answering the, ahem, nature's call?" Holmes asked.

"No shit, Sherlock."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ribdunge
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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Emma Watson

I just shook Emma WATTson's hand , I was so shocked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sabresdewolf
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Statistically do you know the main reason for divorce?

Marriage

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterKayfabe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Holmes and Watson are creeping stealthy along the Street, searching for clues, when Holmes suddenly spots a Bakery shop window and scans it with his magnifying glass. Watson perplexed, says to Sherlock " What are you looking for exactly ? " ...Holmes replies...

" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.

The N’s justify the means.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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Statistically, you are more likely to be killed by a donkey than by a terrorist attack.

So watch your ass.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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As we were watching a DVD, I asked my son, "Do you know Emma Watson's full name?" He shook his head and I continued...

Emmamentary Mydear Watson!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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Sherlock Holmes: My dear Watson, you have a mole on your right upper thigh. /r/Jokes/comments/fu4m13/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kookykau
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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When it finally dawned on Watson that it was the limestone he exclaimed β€œBut Holmes, how did you know?!” /r/3amjokes/comments/fmr0…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DenVosReinaert
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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"Holmes, what do they call primary school in America?"

"Elementary, my dear Watson."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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What do you call a happy statistic?

Horatio

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smiledude94
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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Sherlock was gardening when Watson came over and asked what he was planting.

"A lemon tree, my dear Watson".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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Old Statistics Teachers never die.

They just get mean. (I know ... just an average joke)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Truculent1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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Applied Statistics.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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All I do in my statistics class is subtract the average number from data sets.

It’s demeaning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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Why did Watson go to Los Angeles for his next case?

Because that’s where he was told he could find Holmes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boricimo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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Statistics show that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are unfaithful....

Now I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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According to statistics,

people who are mean tend to be average.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LosreDorke
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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Holmes: "Is that mud on your boots?" Watson: "No, shit, Sherlock"

Holmes: "Is that comforter on your bed?" Watson: "No, sheet, Sherlock"

Holmes: "Is that a long note on your desk?" Watson: "No, chit, Sherlock"

Holmes: "Is that your residence?" Watson: "No, shed, Sherlock"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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What did Watson and Crick study when they discovered DNA?

Rosalind Franklin’s notes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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Statistics show a person in the US is stabbed every 54 minutes.

I'd hate to be that guy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dingwanginc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
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If Watson isn't the most famous doctor in the world...

then Who is.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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If Watson isn't the most famous doctor...

...Then Who is.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrPackinwud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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β€œHey Watson, is that mud on your boots?”

β€œNo, shit, Sherlock.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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Did you know that statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t Happy?
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/graemeboyle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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If Watson isn't the most famous doctor in the world...

Then Who is.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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β€œWatson, what does constipation mean?”

β€œNo shit, Sherlock”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamverymature69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrScotty15
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2017
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If Watson isn't the most famous doctor in the world...

Then Who is.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Did you know that statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t happy.
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Statistically,

6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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If Watson isn't the most famous doctor in the world

then Who is

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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