My husband has gradually grown to tolerate and even appreciate puns. Today he made me proud.
He made a pun in the shower, we giggled, and I noted how he's gone from hating puns to making his own. I called him my "young Padawan" and he responded, "You mean, Pun-awan?" It was seemless. I lost my shit. Just wanted to share with you guys :)
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︎ Mar 27 2016
I told my daughter, βGo to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.β Puzzled, she asked, βWhatβs that got to do with anything?β I chuckled, "Well, that means..."
"Itβs pasture bedtime!β
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︎ Mar 26 2021
I mean... ;)
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︎ Mar 20 2021
If you spell the words βAbsolutely Nothingβ backwards, you get βGnihton Yletulosba,β which ironically means...
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︎ Feb 15 2021
I told my son to go find out what "nada" means in english
But he came back with nothing
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︎ Apr 01 2021
I don't mean to brag..
but cashier's are always checking me out.
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︎ Mar 30 2021
I mean, he is right though
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︎ Mar 30 2021
Don't you mean...
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︎ Apr 04 2021
What do you call a mean potato?
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︎ Apr 07 2021
If a woman sleeps with 10 men that means she's a slut. But what does that make a man if he does it?
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︎ Apr 08 2021
His son asked him βWhat does it mean to be a Man?β...
He replied: A man is someone who is responsible and takes care of his family.β
Son: I hope one day I grow up to be a man just like Mom!
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︎ Mar 01 2021
My son asked me, βWhat does dΓ©jΓ vu mean?β
I said, βI have a feeling you asked me this before.β
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︎ Mar 09 2021
I mean. Heβs not wrong
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︎ Mar 29 2021
I hope that the universe keeps on expanding forever so all the heat runs out some day. It means that eventually things are gonna be 0 K
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︎ Apr 08 2021
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
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︎ Dec 05 2020
You mean snick
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︎ Apr 01 2021
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day.
And the box said 2-4 years.
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︎ Mar 26 2021
I hadnβt used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I donβt mean to brag but this is the single greatest post Iβve ever made on reddit.
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︎ Feb 05 2021
What is it you use when you want to close a sentence, and, you know stop one thing to start another; I mean how do you bring one sentence to an end so you can start another one, hang on, Iβve found it .
Apologies this was a very difficult period for me.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
Son: What does bargain mean?
Dad: Well, it means a great deal, actuallyβ¦
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︎ Jan 23 2021
I've noticed that a lot of math teachers don't want to be mean...
They strive to be above average.
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︎ Mar 24 2021
If you change word "Love" to "Lunch", you can totally change the meaning of a lot of songs.
All You Need Is Lunch
Do You Believe In Life After Lunch
Lunch In An Elevator
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︎ Jan 23 2021
Dad: βHow are your grades, son?β Son: βTheyβre underwater, Dad.β Dad: βWhat do you mean, underwater?β
Son: βTheyβre below C levelβ
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︎ Feb 12 2021
My son asked me what does gay mean
Me: it's means being happy
Son: so are you gay dad?
Me: no son, I have an wife
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︎ Jan 31 2021
TIL the meaning when someone says "Break a leg."
They're hoping you're gonna be in a cast.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Pre- means before. Post- means after. To use both prefixes together,
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︎ Sep 19 2020
What is the meaning of the word "demise"?
Demise is what de cats eat?
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︎ Feb 28 2021
What do you mean, marsupials are happy?
Yeah man, they are joeyfull!
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︎ Mar 15 2021
In light of his record with these mega-projects, Elon Musk's proposed new Miami-tunnel gives new meaning to the term
"car-pool tunnel syndrome."
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︎ Feb 15 2021
Huey, Dewey, and Louie's Irish uncle that makes a mean burger
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︎ Mar 15 2021
After seeing a dead bird I had to tell my 4 year old what it means.
I said
it Δt :
pro. Used to refer to that one previously mentioned. Used of a nonhuman entity; an animate being whose sex is unspecified, unknown, or irrelevant; a group of objects or individuals; an action; or an abstraction.
pro. Used as the subject of an impersonal verb.
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︎ Mar 13 2021
With Texas covered in snow, does that mean...
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︎ Feb 17 2021
I mean a deaf person with one arm the other day...
The conversation was pretty one-sided.
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︎ Feb 21 2021
Found at my local Trader Joeβs.... I mean come on... you laughed... Right?!
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︎ Feb 02 2021
Well I mean I would be mad...
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︎ Jun 10 2020
If the process of decaffeinating coffee beans means being doused in formaldehyde...
Does that make them Coffinated?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if sheβd had her medicine yet.
My daughter said yes, and I replied, βSo youβre de-Claritin that youβve had it already?β
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︎ Jan 17 2021
What kind of running means you will have to walk?
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︎ Feb 11 2021
In a recent poll people were asked what they thought Γ· means
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Me: Can you tell me what βpourquoiβ means? Wife: βwhyβ
Me: because I really want to know
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︎ Feb 12 2021
An Honest Werewolf : "What do you mean? I am not a werewolf"
A Random Seer : "Either you are lying or you are an unawerewolf"
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︎ Feb 11 2021
My wife was telling me I am of average intelligence.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
A child with a speech impediment is dressed as a pirate. A man asks what are you. He says he is a birate. You mean a pirate? Yes a birate. Oh well then where are your buccaneers?
On each side of my buckin head you buckin idiot!!
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︎ Feb 06 2021
Q from our Fishkeeping Group: What does it mean if my fish stays at the bottom of the tank?
A: Maybe it's feeling a bit low...
(Got me a screenshot of my epic slayage to prove it too! https://i.imgur.com/FPCvglr.png )
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︎ Feb 11 2021
I donβt mean to brag...
but cashiers are always checking me out
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︎ Mar 24 2021
I don't mean to brag, but...
cashiers are always checking me out.
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︎ Mar 02 2021
I donβt mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...
and the box said 2-4 years!
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︎ Oct 24 2020
I don't mean to brag
But the cashier's are always checking me out
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︎ Mar 07 2021
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