Did you know thereβs a law stating no one living within 5 miles of a cemetery can be buried there?
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︎ Oct 29 2020
Just stating facts.
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Two friends are on a road trip and one if them sees a sign stating they are approaching Louisville. One says "we should stop in 'Louie-ville' for lunch. The other says it's not pronounced 'Louie-ville', it's 'Louis-ville'!
They go back and forth for a while, neither convincing the other that they are right. Finally they decide on a place to eat. When they get to the restaurant, one of the friends asks the person taking their order to settle it once and for all. "Me and my friend are having a debate and hopefully since you live here, you can set my friend straight. Would you please tell us... and say it clear and slow for my friend here... where are we?"
The person behind the counter gets a puzzled look on his face, then says
>!"Buuuuuurrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiiiiinnnnggg"!<
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︎ Mar 25 2020
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π
︎ Jun 11 2015
I may just be stating the obvious here.
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︎ Apr 28 2017
State puns
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︎ Oct 04 2020
Can anyone give me capitals and state puns?
For example I have:
What's the capital of Alaska?
I'm pretty sure Juneau (You know)
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π
︎ Jul 12 2016
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︎ Jul 06 2017
Arkansas is the only state mentioned in the Bible.
βNoah walked out onto the ark and saw....β
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π
︎ Nov 08 2020
My buddy Ian is a strong proponent of state surveillance of citizens. I disagree and think it's a bad idea, so I said...
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Murphy's Law states anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you heard of Cole's Law?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
The police arrested water because it was wanted in three states
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Ooh thatβs on point
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π
︎ Jan 09 2021
So I was talking with a friend about states
me: do you know the abbreviations for ohio and oklahoma?
friend: no
me: oh ok
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π
︎ Dec 20 2020
Why couldn't Biden see his Secretary of State?
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Did you hear about the depressive state of US?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
The Secretary of State will be Biden's first confirmed Cabinet member.
After all, the Republicans can't say no to A. Blinken!
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π
︎ Jan 19 2021
If DC, Puerto Rico, and Guam became states, the US would be truly indivisible
Since 53 states is a prime number
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π
︎ Jan 09 2021
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.
...It was Kief or Southernland.
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π
︎ Dec 30 2020
What state in the US speaks Japanese?
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π
︎ Nov 22 2020
Q: Which US State loves company?
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︎ Nov 25 2020
A state trooper pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway
Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting
The trooper crank down his window and yelled to the driver βpull overβ
βNo!β yelled the woman βitβs a cardiganβ
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π
︎ Dec 16 2020
Which US state is best for baby rodents?
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π
︎ Dec 21 2020
Ho ho ho!
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π
︎ Nov 22 2020
What is the only American State that has ever been married?
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π
︎ Nov 24 2020
When I play battleship I like to arrange my ships in the shape of states...
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π
︎ Dec 09 2020
What do you call a hippies wife?
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π
︎ Jan 08 2021
Do you know the top 15 states to live in?
Alaska, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, & Maine
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π
︎ Oct 15 2020
What is the best American state to go sunbathing?
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π
︎ Oct 29 2020
What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
Sbarro pizza company charged with violating state COVID executive order
They are expected to make an appearance in Food Court next week.
Good evening. I'll see my self out...
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π
︎ Dec 05 2020
BREAKING: North Korean Leader in vegetative state following surgery.
They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
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π
︎ Apr 26 2020
State of Zen
How still do you have to be to reach a Zen state of mind?'
Fro-Zen Still
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π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Which state is always ready to write?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course it can! A building canβt jump at all!
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π
︎ Nov 17 2020
Mike Pompeo is Secretary of State
The βstateβ is denial
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π
︎ Nov 12 2020
What state is famously known for selling small soft drinks?
π︎ 28
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︎ Oct 18 2020
Iβm such a state! What will Della wear to the picnic? And who else will be there? What will we do?
I think Texas coming. What will Delaware? I donβt know, Alaska! Iowa thanks to you for bringing this up! Maybe we can play some Tennessee? Indiana just donβt think weβll know what to expect. Like last time, we donβt know Michigan.
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π
︎ Nov 17 2020
At which US state did the great depression start?
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π
︎ Nov 08 2020
Which U.S. state is famous for its extra-small soft drinks??
π︎ 24
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
You would think that the state that is most popular for Casino's and lucrative businesses...
...would be better at counting
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π
︎ Nov 06 2020
In Sweden the CEO of IKEA was just elected president.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
My 4 year old just told her first dad joke, and I've never been more proud.
My pregnant wife is wearing a white shirt that has a pumpkin painted over her belly, for Halloween. We are having another little girl, and have set on the name Ellie.
My daughter comes home, and is greeted by my wife.
4yo: "I like your shirt mama!
Wife: "Aww thank you! Do you like my pumpkin belly?
4yo: "...I like your pumpkin Ellie!"
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︎ Oct 31 2020
I just found out that Mercedes is donating state of the art street sweepers to some of the largest cities around the world to help fight littering.
Theyβre calling it Mercedes-clenz
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π
︎ Sep 25 2020
What do you call state-sponsored cereal brands from Algeria?
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π
︎ Oct 25 2020
BREAKING :: Lebanese President Michel Aoun states there will be no additional disaster relief funds for those affected by blast.
A real Lebaneezer Scrooge.
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︎ Aug 11 2020
What State Has The Most Streets?
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︎ Aug 18 2020
A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states
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︎ Aug 14 2020
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