I was watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on my mobile and the feed shut off.
I got a text from my mobile provider saying I’d exceeded my monthly Data allowance.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....
Where the fuck is my roof ?
My son asked me why is there space between earth and stars?
Because earthandstars is hard to read.
Quick reference for Star Wars: Chewie is short for Chewbacca, Ben Kenobi is short for Obi-Wan Kenobi...
...and Luke Skywalker is short for a storm trooper
My son Luke loves it that we named all our kids after Star Wars characters...
My daughter Chewbacca, not so much.
Ms Wilson, Australian star of the Pitch Perfect movies has announced she no longer believes in Santa.
She is a Rebel without a Claus.
My wife screamed at me, "You're obsessed with those Star Wars movies. I've had enough. I'm leaving you."
"May divorce be with you!!" I replied.
I was outside, laying down, at night, admiring the stars and the moon
What do you call a neon sheep in the Star Wars universe?
Our son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as an inspiration when naming our kids.
His sister Chewbacca is less thrilled.
I've got the body of a porn star....
All my clothes says XXXX.
Chewbacca of Star Wars was once a great baseball player in The Major Leagues. . . . . .
Seriously, he won Wookie of the year.
Who stared as Han Solo in the Scandinavian remake of Star Wars?
I had a Wookie burger at a Star Wars cafe
William Shatner, Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched women’s underwear business...
Apparently, nobody was interested in buying ‘Shatner Panties’.
My spouse left me because of my obsession with Star Wars.
Divorce is strong with this one.
I promised my new girlfriend the sun, the moon and the stars....
So, I took her to the planetarium.
Jesus Christ Snooker Star.
Skeptic: This ninja star can never fit through that gap!
I recently played in a Star Wars themed cricket match.
Every time the ball was delivered the Umpire struck back.
Ever since the Death Star blew up, Anakin has taken to the NY Stock Exchange
My favorite Star Wars character is a philosopher
What is the name of the big hairy guy in a redneck Star Wars remake?
Tell a man there are three hundred billion stars in the universe, and he believes you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he has to touch it to be sure.
Becoming a rock star…
…might make you feel boulder.
I was at a Star Wars themed restaurant.....
I had Sky Walker soup. Wookie steak and Death Star ice cream.
The starter and the dessert were lovely, but the main course was a bit chewy.
Every star is holy. Why, you ask?
Because they all have mass!
How do you humiliate a reality t.v. star ?
Last night as I lay in bed staring at the stars I thought to myself
Where the heck is the ceiling?
What does Mission Impossible's star give when he f**ks up?
Wise men followed a Star-Bucks...
I hear they are making a new Star Trek movie about the crew stealing the Enterprise and going to a planet to search for a mythical spoon with tines...
It's Star Trek: The Search for Spork
So I was laying in bed last night, looking up at the stars.
Then I realised. Where the f*** is my roof?
Star Trek Halloween Special
What do you call a statue in the star wars shop?
What about the star?
My husband and I finally finished decorating the Christmas tree tonight. There’s always a star and we forgot to grab the box from the basement. I said to my husband, “What about the star?” Without skipping a beat, he says, “It’s 2020. Zero stars.”
Star wars celebrity names
Apologies if this breaks the rules however. My friends and I are making up names of star wars characters combined with celebrity names. So far we've come up with Darth spader, sith rogan, and obi wan kobe.
Any others we cant think of?
Australian tennis star Bernard Tomic's sister, Ana, agreeing with her friend Ally about the positions of body parts
A husband and wife were at a marriage counselor. The wife complained, "he only talks about Star Wars! I've had it. I'm leaving him!" The counselor turned to the husband: "well?"
The husband looked at his wife and said, "divorce is strong with this one."
My son Luke loves that we named him after a Star Wars character.
My daughter Chewbacca not so much
My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.
My daughter Chewbacca, not so much.
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