It was no fun when I sprained my neck in a car accident a few months ago.

But now I can look back and laugh.

👍︎ 9
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📅︎ Sep 20 2020
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I sprained my back while trying to see how low I could go, but there's nobody around to help me up.

I'm stuck in limbo.

👍︎ 25
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📅︎ Sep 06 2019
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My SO sprained her ankle last night. After a few hours waiting in the emergency room we were sent to the radiology for an X-Ray!

I told her to break a leg.

^(I just had to share this. For what it was worth, I made her smile, like an upset "I don't want to laugh at this moment, but I can't help it" kind of smile, and that's what counts. Luckily there were no fractured bones.)

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Aug 12 2018
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Sprained my ankle, Dad delivers

I sprained my ankle and have to use crutches Dad says "hey now you can get a job at I-hop!" Nice one dad

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👤︎ u/Kayaree3
📅︎ Nov 18 2013
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Where did the dog jump down from and sprain his paw?

The woof

👍︎ 16
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📅︎ Aug 25 2017
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Dad joked someone after spraining my ankle today

"Would you try a cane?"

"Only if it's a hip one"

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Mar 09 2015
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Long-Term Dad Joke Finally Pays Off
👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/H_G_Bells
📅︎ Dec 20 2017
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My wife just asked me when I was going to cut my hair...

I told her tomorrow, so I can be "Shorn on the 4th of July".

Bonus points - my 14YO daughter sprained both her eyes from rolling them backwards too quickly...

👍︎ 8
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📅︎ Jul 03 2019
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A priest twists his ankle, what's the first thing that happens?

He'sprain.

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👤︎ u/Crispelli
📅︎ Jul 04 2019
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I'm proud of my seven year old stepdaughter. I've taught her well.

We're sitting at the dinner table after my stepkid returned from a weekend at her dad's, telling bad puns to each other. This was her response to her mom. Mom (to me): Honey, you tell some terrible jokes. Me: I know. The kid: Mom, they're not BAD jokes, they're DAD jokes.

👍︎ 333
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📅︎ Jan 28 2015
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Got the wife.

So I fell and either sprained or broke my ankle this morning chasing my son around.

Told my wife I had been assaulted, so she better get me some pepper for balance.

The eye roll was epic.

Edit: hairline fracture on my ankle

👍︎ 42
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📅︎ Jul 24 2016
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What do you call a cow with two legs, and other cow jokes.

Lean Beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef

Why didn't the pregnant cow want to take aerobics?

She didn't want to sprain her calf.

What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

de-calf-inated

Why do cows wear bells?

because their horns don't work

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👤︎ u/shlupieus
📅︎ Jun 24 2016
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My best friend just made a better dad joke than I could ever hope to...

Firstly, it should be noted that she's a total klutz. She's fallen off her longboard and sprained her ankle(s) multiple times in the past few months. So, I was talking to her earlier today as she was walking to Walgreens to pick up an Ace bandage. When I asked why, she said she twisted her ankle walking home from work. I then said "Damn, your ankles can't catch a break, can they?", to which she replied "Well, I think I'd be in more trouble if they did."

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Sep 04 2016
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My dad dad-joked the receptionist at the walk-in clinic

My mum sprained her ankle and my dad drove her to the nearby walk-in clinic.

Upon entering, with my mum hobbling along on her uninjured foot alongside him, he said to the receptionist "Walk-in? What about the hop-in?"

She looked at him with confusion.

Waste of excellent humour.

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Aug 29 2014
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I tripped on some mushrooms yesterday...

and I sprained my ankle.

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ May 26 2014
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Being a dad is awesome (variations on a theme)

S: "I'm going to get a haircut." D: "Which one"

S: "I'm going to get a haircut." D: "Just one, that's a lot of effort for one cut."

S: "I'm going to get a haircut." D: "Don't cut any of mine!" (I'm bald)

S: "I'm going to get a haircut." D: "Don't cut the good one."

I do this until they sprain their faces rolling their eyes.

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/afichte
📅︎ Oct 13 2013
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