In Illinois, it's illegal to have legal possesion over fecal matter of any sort.
Can't have shit in Detroit.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
I'm here is Scotland and quarantine has me feeling all out of sorts...
And there is nothing worse for a Scot than being off kilter.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
What sort of music did cave men listen to?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
What sorts of footwear do bakers wear?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
It's like I'm some sort of Khartoum character.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Aug 16 2020
Chinese are building all sorts of new educational camps with invigorating physical exercise for Uigher citizens.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an ideology.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
[OC] You're a star... of sorts
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 12 2020
My wife said last night "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game"
Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance
π︎ 247
π
︎ Jun 16 2020
What sort of animal wears sunglasses?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 19 2020
What sort of bees make milk?
π︎ 33
π
︎ May 31 2020
If you felt a mouse, what sort of mouse would it be?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 12 2020
What sort of stereo equipment does Black Panther use?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 14 2020
What sort of corn is sold at student unions?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
Ron: Harry, come quick! Dumbledoreβs been in some sort of accident!
Harry: Oh my god! Was it serious?
Ron: No. it was Snape.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Feb 15 2020
I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.
I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 16 2019
Found on a funny train sort of post (will link in comments)
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 19 2019
A man burst into a doctor's office and began asking all sorts of strange questions to the people waiting inside. When the doctor asked him to stop, he didn't. The doctor replied
You're really testing my patients.
π︎ 95
π
︎ Apr 04 2019
What sort of cocktail does an attorney drink?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Jun 29 2019
One turbine asked another, "what sort of music do you like?"
The other turbine replied, "I'm a big metal fan."
π︎ 34
π
︎ Aug 10 2019
I just stumbled on this subreddit, and I'd like explain why (from an outsider's perspective) this sort of thing is not my cup of tea.
It's because this is my cup of tea.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 30 2015
TIL that sea-faring pirates were quite progressive in their labor practices, reserving a portion of their loot into an early sort of worker's comp, paying for peg-legs and hooks.
They weren't big fans of arrrbitration.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 02 2019
[sort of re-post] Does anyone know how to charge milk...
Mine is stuck on 1%
I write dad jokes on the white board in my office break room. Yesterday I wrote this gem up, and got some interesting responses I thought you all might enjoy... (They had to be from a dad.)
β’ try 2%... Twice the charge, not much more expensive
β’ does whole milk come with a full charge?
β’ does that mean skim milk's batteries are dead?
β’ try cream top extra charged
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 20 2019
So, Iβm sort of obsessed with the moon
I guess you could say Iβm a lunatic
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 02 2019
What sort of money do need if you want to start your own landscaping business?
π︎ 245
π
︎ Jun 13 2017
What sort of flowers grow on your face?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jun 09 2018
What sort of gate is hygienic?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 23 2019
What sort of owl can you find in a kitchen?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 17 2019
Whatβs brown and sort of sounds like a bell?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 24 2019
What sort of nuts get a lot of criticism?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 26 2018
On a family holiday to Bruges, we decided to walk to the nearby town of Damme. En route, my Dad said to my sister "your hair looks sort of OK today"
He then explained "to Damme with faint praise"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 13 2018
Do you recall that film that was kinda like A Bug's Life and came out at the same sort of time as A Bug's Life but wasn't nearly as good as A Bug's Life?
Well you should, it's Remember Antz Day
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 11 2018
What sort of shoes do gypsies wear?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 03 2018
Vegetables are boring in general, but some are sort of cool.
I guess you could called them rad-ish.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 09 2018
Sort of an edited repost?
Elmer Fudd is sitting around one day and realized he's not all that good at hunting, might as well take up a new hobby.
Obviously he turns to magic/slight of hand.
After a few months of practicing, his arms are COVERED in chocolate. Bugs comes up and asks him, "Say doc, what's with all the chocolate?"
To which Elmer replies, "You know what they say, a good magician ALWAYS has a few Twix up his sweeves."
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 30 2018
I wanted to sketch some sort of ammunition...
But Iβm drawing a blank.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 14 2017
I apparently made some sort of sighing noise
My wife asked me, "what is it?"
I said, "it's a third person genderless personal pronoun."
π︎ 15
π
︎ May 05 2018
In chemistry class, my son was combining acetic acid with some sort of base when he disappeared...
I guess it's true what they say -- he who acetates is lost.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 03 2018
A dad asked his wife what sort of food would be available at the venue the family was visiting.
She said, "Fries and shit."
"So... poo-tine?"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 07 2018
What vegetable is sort of awesome?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Apr 19 2017
A bug light of sorts
http://madeofmistake.com/bug-light
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 20 2018
What sort of organisms do composers hate?
Fungi.
Why?
Cause they're de-composers.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 02 2017
I thought I saw some sort of animal on an island in Alaska.
Turns out it was just an Aleutian.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 28 2016
What sort of pans do Blackstreet use?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 14 2018
If you fondle a mouse, what sort of mouse is it?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 18 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.