My neighbor spent all day laying sod in his front garden, then last night, someone stole it!
He’s outside now, looking forlorn…
I was assaulted with a bag of soil
But I can't go to the cops cause they got dirt on me.
I tried to tell my wife how to lay sod, but she wasn’t interested...
We still have a lot of ground to cover
My neighbor came over again to tell me about his new lawn, so I told him to get lost.
I’ve heard enough of his sod stories.
If these hurricanes don't sod off...
Irma lose my shit.
We’ve all heard of Murphy’s Law, but have you heard of Cole’s Law?
Well, it’s finely chopped bits of cabbage and carrots
Every time we see a truck hauling sod...
"Man, I wish I was that rich, where I could just send my lawn away to be mowed!"
I should start a landscaping business. I'll call it "General Sod"
My neighbor leaves his sprinkler running constantly, sometimes days at a time.
It’s really irrigating.
I removed some grass from my front yard in the shape of my favorite movie/video game weapon.
But my HOA informed me that they don't allow sod-off shotguns.
Got a job at a turf farm. After the first day. I thought to myself.
“This is sodly satisfying..”
When you see fake grass for the first time
"That's sod"
Someone has been adding better grass to my yard!
What a sod!
I made a chicken salad earlier
The cheeky sod didn't even say thank you.
What weapon do British people use to make their enemies go away?
A sod off shotgun.
Got my whole family to groan...
My brother was doing a crossword puzzle and asks, "What unit of measurement do they use for sod?"
My response: "Yards."
