π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 10 2013
Sign of the times
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
I recently decided to learn sign language...
So that I can tell jokes nobody has ever heard.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker
But when I got home all the signs were there
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
Signing not required
π︎ 197
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︎ Nov 15 2020
Everyone should learn sign language.
π︎ 41
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︎ Dec 21 2020
If you sign up for an economics class, you should bring some spoiled milk on the first day.
Theyβre a big fan of gross domestic products.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
My boss wants me to sign up for a 401K...
Iβm not sure how he expects anyone to run that far!!!
π︎ 139
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
There is a sign outside my local library that says 'Watch for Cars'
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
My company keeps asking me to sign up for a 401k.
There's no way I could run that far.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
I was driving down the interstate when I came across a sign for the world's largest pickle...
I turned at the next exit and found that there was a whole town around it.
Shops, restaurants, even churches devoted to this pickle.
When I finally found the museum holding this legendary pickle, I discovered it was closed.
Dismayed, I went back to the interstate.
I just never saw what the big dill was.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
Sign at NASA Cafeteria:. We are go for Lunch
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
I actually know a lot of jokes in sign language
And I can guarantee you no one has ever heard them.
π︎ 274
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
I just thought of this today as I was driving... Iβm sorry in advance π I saw this sign the other day, and it had rounded edges
It was kinda pointless...
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
I would never be into zodiac signs
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
My wife got mad after I tried to convince her that she'd agreed to let me buy a neon sign.
I guess she doesn't like gas lighting.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused!
I just couldn't accept all those perms and conditions!
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
My street sign from a previous address:
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
Why did all the gym members sign the bike?
Because it was stationary.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
Today I came across a note on my table signed by someone called Cayman-
I was pretty sure that he Cayman left
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
Iβm currently learning sign language.
I want to tell jokes that people have never heard!
(Sorry if this joke has been done, just heard it for the first time from a coworker and wanted to share.)
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
Why did Sean Connery sign up for the men's grooming prescription service?
They had such great shavings.
Edit: Title should be subscription, wtf autocorrect
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
Sign me up!
π︎ 7k
π
︎ May 13 2020
Most people told me learning sign language was a waste of time
But I find it to be a pretty handy skill
π︎ 25
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
If youβre seeing this, itβs a sign
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
You're damn right it will
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
A sign at a Nursery...
π︎ 6k
π
︎ May 15 2020
I saw a restaurant that had a sign up saying βBreakfast anytimeβ
So I ordered French toast during the renaissance.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
A very descriptive road sign
π︎ 29
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
I saw a sign that made me piss myself today
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
See what I did there?
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
When Shaquille OβNeal gives you a birthday card, he always signs it with a reference to his favorite 80βs song.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
I saw a sign in a shop window that said "Watch batteries fitted, Β£2.50."
I thought βWhy would anyone pay to see that?β
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, βI donβt think they have what youβre looking for, sir.β
I told him, βI donβt think they have what youβre looking for, sir.β
π︎ 200
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
While paying for groceries at a local store ,they had reusable shopping bags with the breast cancer awareness ribbon on them with a handwritten sign that said $.99 for a better tomorrow.
I asked the young girl at the register "If I buy this and don't have a better tomorrow can I return it for a refund?"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
What is the least spoken language?
π︎ 115
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
It occurred to me today that I would have loved to see two of my favorite bands from the 90s, led respectively by David Usher and Gavin Rossdale, on the same ticket. The sign on the theatre would have been epic.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
Whenever my son has to make a picture for homework, I always make sure he signs his name last
Because Andrew is a lot shorter than Andrawing
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
Clever strip club sign
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Mar 30 2020
An officer pulled me over for not stopping in a stop sign and asked why
I simply said "I don't speak sign language"
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
There's something that I don't like about "DO NOT TOUCH" signs.
I just can't put my finger on it.
π︎ 589
π
︎ Jul 25 2020
I know several jokes in sign language
I guarantee you,no one has ever heard them before.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
I recently learned sign language
Now I'll tell jokes that nobody has ever heard
π︎ 27
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
I know a lot of jokes in sign language...
And I can guarantee that no one has ever heard them.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
I actually know a lot of jokes in sign language
And I can guarantee you no one has ever heard them.
π︎ 57
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
I know several jokes in sign language.
I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
I know several jokes in sign language
I guarantee no one has ever heard them before
π︎ 541
π
︎ Sep 01 2020
I saw a sign today that made me piss myself
It said βToilets closedβ
π︎ 67
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
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