My friend owns a home siding company with a shady business practice.
My wife said we should get the siding replaced.
I said we should do the front since that's the part everyone actually sees.
Today my real estate agent showed me a house that had mirrors as siding
I could really see myself in it
The crew began removing/replacing our siding this morning
Friend of mine asked why I took a side job at the bakery
I told him I don’t knead the dough, but I do get a rise out of it
Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side?
Watching the movie ' Grease ' to take my mind off some vaccine side effects, however..
I got chills..they're multiplying.
Why do the Swedish put barcodes on the side of their ships?
What side of a chicken has the most feathers?
When you see birds flying in a V and there are more birds on one side, why is that?
Because there are more birds on that side.
Zinger from my father-in-law.
Edit: This is word for word. Thanks everyone for trying to make it better.
I asked a pianist why he was banging the side of his head against the keys.
He told me he was playing by ear.
Did you hear about the guy who got his left side cut off?
Why does Jesus stay on the other side of the road?
He’s afraid to get across
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards
I'm sure that must have been a record
Why does the norway navy have bar codes on the sides of its ships.
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.
On which side of the earth should you build a house?
sausage bread will always be by your side
My underprivileged friend will only listen to the b side of his records.
It’s like he lives on the other side of the tracks.
You don't want to get on a tree's bad side.
The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the side of the road ...
They charged her with littering!
Construction workers don't have side chicks
To the dank side, poetry leads
my grandfather said this today on the dinner table and i was the only one that found it hilarious for no reason at all
G : what type of apples grow on trees ?
my dumbass : idk red and green ?
G : all of them do
wheezes
From my 9 year old son: Dad, what hand do you wipe your bum with? Me: My right hand......
Response: EEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR, I use toilet paper.
Well played, boy.
I went to the geometry store because I was looking to buy a shape with 4 or less sides...
But I couldn’t find any! They were all gons!!!
Today I learnt what Yoda was short for,
Because he's got little legs.
How many sides does a circle have?
What did the hospital say to the man with 100% of his left side missing?
The doctor says “He’s alright”
The nurse follows “There’s nothing left!
I bought a record at the charity shop the other day, "Sounds That Wasps Make". I took it home and it sounded nothing like Wasps.
That's when I realised I was playing the Bee side.
If you need to find the longest side of a moose
Did I tell you guys about the side-hustle plan I came up with? I’m going to do personal training for the band that recorded ‘Lola’ and ‘You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...
I just have to work out a few Kinks.
I started sleeping on the left side of the bed
It just doesn't feel right.
The punny side of r/antimeme
Ordering KFC, and I ask for a chicken wing. Cashier asks, “ok sir, and which side?”
I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose I’ll take the right side.
Cashier: “sir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.”
If the Scottish and the Irish went to war, no matter the victor, both sides would have kilt it.
I lost vision on the left side
So now I look everyone right in the eye
I grilled a chicken for two hours.
It still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road...
All lego architecture is the same
The siding's always made of brick
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
My friend had the left side of his body ripped off in an accident.
But the doctor said he’ll be all right.
2 parts to a brain...The left side and a right side.
On the left side, there's nothing right.
On the right side, there's nothing left.
As a rule of thumb ALWAYS have a squid on your side when you're in a fight
Did you hear about the man who had his left side amputated?
Why does the Norwegian Navy put bar codes on the sides of their ships?
So when they get back to port they can Scandinavian!
Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?
So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
