What's a shallot?

The opposite of shalittle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deverz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?

It's called Shallot's Web

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquiddlyD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?

Thanks shallot.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yotapata
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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I was at the supermarket and I picked up these little odd shaped onions. When I got home my wife asked should she use them for dinner tonight, I told her "Yes, but they're quite strong so...

...don't use shallot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/__itsyaboi__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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There's an onion, and he's studying law at a prestigious college. He's in his third year, and after a particularly tough day, he gets an invite from one of his onion-friends to a party they're having that evening.

Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs cheering up.

So he dresses smartly, puts on his favorite aftershave and heads over to his friend's.

He gets to the party to find it quite a packed affair and heads over to the bar - fighting through crowds of reveller-onions - to get a drink.

As he gets to the bar, he notices in one corner a slightly out-of-place female onion.

She looks a bit sad and being the compassionate onion that he is, he heads over to talk to her.

This is quickly affirmed as a good move, as they hit it off immediately; she was abandoned by her friends shortly after arriving and had been minding her own business ever since, but over a night of drinks and talking, they quickly fall into an infatuation and soon end up spending an oniony night of passion together.

When they awake in the morning, they don't find it awkward and a steady relationship between the two is struck.

This lasts a good while, having its ups and downs like any college relationship, but eventually the day comes when they both graduate.

The two couldn't be happier!

They both get jobs close to one another and move into an apartment together.

One day, the partner-onion is anxiously awaiting the lawyer-onion at home.

She's been ill all day and checking has confirmed her suspicions.

She tearfully - and joyfully - breaks the news to the lawyer-onion; they're going to have a tiny baby-onion together.

A shallot, if you will.

A few days later, this prompts the lawyer-onion to propose to his heretofore girlfriend-onion.

They are soon wed, having a fantastic wedding-day and husband and wife-onions are on top of the world.

The day comes of the birth and no complications - a tiny, healthy baby onion is born to two proud parents.

Seeing this little bundle of oniony love in their arms causes them to fall deeper in love than ever.

Over the next few years, husband-and-wife-onions' lives are fantastic.

He's prospering at work, she's really enjoying taking some time to raise the baby-onion and over time the baby-onion grows into a hale and hearty toddler-onion, who then becomes a child-onion.

One day, the idyll of the onions' lives is shattered when tragedy strikes.

The lawyer-onion (now a partner-onion in a prestigious law firm due to chance and hard work) is at work, and mother-onion is washing dishes and watching her child play in the yard.

She glances away to take another plate and turns her vision back to

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Wanna know how much I love onions?


πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/MarsRoadster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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How many onions does this recipe call for?


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πŸ‘€︎ u/150yd7iron
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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What’s a Bostonian onion’s favorite punk band?

Good Shallot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IratePuddle
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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dad: chopping up shallots

me: do they make you cry?

dad: i mean, if i have a bad day i guess so

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/dauseniscool
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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Co-Worker and I were bored at work this morning, we wrote this. We work for a fruit store.

NASHI here Scott, we don't need your PERSIMMON to PRODUCE puns. I ain't LIME-ing, fruit puns are hard. It's a GRAPE skill to have and not at all CORNy. If BANANA (you wanna) challenge us; that can be ORANGEd, however you SHALLOT be prePEARed for us. I can GUAVAntee we will not deal with you GINGERly; if you push, APPLE; (I pull) It's not like i'm speaking LEBANESE, CUCUMBERstand?

I myself am full of puns from my head TOMATOES, as you can KIWI (See, we) have been doing this longer than you, we never skip a BEET, our abilities just climb higher PAPAYA (and higher)?.

We don't CARROT all if you're upset by this, in fact it's about THYME we asked your mother on a DATE. So don't be a DILL, we've BEAN there and done that before. So be ready to LETTUCE give you something to cry about throws onion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iCappa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2014
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Some light kitchen humour

What does Sean Connery say when he's trying to be appreciative ?

Thanks Shallot.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/QuantumPickle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2015
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