Next time you go to the eye doctor say its nice to see you again
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
So I asked the employee if I could see the clock for sale, so she gave it to me. I asked my dad if I could buy it.
My dad said βwe donβt have Time for that, weβre gonna leave any Second now, so Hand it back to the lady and head back to Hour carβ
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 19 2021
Saw this on r/unexpected, thought it was funny so here we are :) Iβll be sure to add the link to the OG post in the comments incase you wanna see it
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 22 2020
I've just dissected an ox eye to see what's inside it.
It was an eye opening experience.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 12 2021
When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake
I guess that's why they call it window pain.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 25 2020
It occurred to me today that I would have loved to see two of my favorite bands from the 90s, led respectively by David Usher and Gavin Rossdale, on the same ticket. The sign on the theatre would have been epic.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
Son: There's no salt on this. Mom: Well, it's hard to see salt.
Dad: But can you table salt?
Mom: I don't know, let's discuss that next time.
Edit: To be honest I'm a little salty about the bland reaction this dad/mom joke got :)
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
It's so great to see you!
'Cos now I know my eyes are working.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
One California Redditor Dad came up with a dad joke so shocking that Reddit doesnβt want you to see it.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Martha had always listened to her parents when they said βstay away from fireβ, but today, her interests got the best of her and she intentionally lit herself on fire just to see what it felt like.
Martha was burning with curiosity
π︎ 70
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
Bob:.. I went to see my doctor about having a vasectomy Jack:.. " That's a pretty big decision, have you talked it over with your family?"
Bob:..."Yes, they're in favor of it, 14 to 3..."
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
I've just got some new glasses, and when I first put them on, I could see tiny little people with wings at the end of the garden. I rang my optician to report the problem, but he said it was completely normal with these glasses...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 14 2020
Love to see it
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 31 2019
isn't it weird that we actually pay money just to see other human beings?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
If you get in an accident and need to see a lawyer about it, just be careful..
They'll add consult to injury
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
It was my first time to see Rihanna
It happened on a rainy day so one thing led to another and she ended up under my umbrella
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
When is it time to see the dentist?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 05 2020
You'd have to walkabout to see it.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jun 03 2020
I found mushrooms growing from the bathroom ceiling in my NYC apartment (typical) and called my dad to see what I should do about it.
He immediately said, βWell, I wouldnβt eat them.β
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 29 2020
When you (fail) to see it ππ
π︎ 55
π
︎ Jan 03 2020
Why was it so easy to see the aircraft on the grass lands?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
It is weird to see signs that say "In case of fire, don't use elevator". Everyone knows water is better to put on fires than an elevator.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Nov 09 2018
It has been a while since I was able to go see my barber...
...so I invited him to comb over to my house.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
I found a sack on the side of the road. I reached inside to see if I could figure out who it belonged to. I think it belonged to Santa.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jun 12 2020
I proclaimed to my wife that the world does not revolve around our little girl. Perturbed, she shot back, "Why on Earth would you ever say that!?" I explained, "Well, it's really quite simple you see, she's our daughter..."
π︎ 54
π
︎ May 16 2020
Some lifeguards at the pool were doing a ph test to see how the pool was doing, and I was fascinated by it.
I thought to myself, βDang, hydrogen is powerfulβ
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
Did you get to see Mt Rushmore before it was carved?
Its beauty was unpresidented
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 26 2020
Pun memes, sometimes you need to see it
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Nov 14 2018
Wouldn't it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who's on the other side.
I mean, imagine all the peepholes.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 14 2020
A guy tried to sell me a mirror but I knew it was a scam. I could see right through it.
π︎ 202
π
︎ Jul 22 2019
See it to beleaf it
π︎ 52
π
︎ Nov 01 2019
I'm here to make a serious complaint about my local subway. Generally they do a good job, but I today I did an online order (so I didnt SEE them make anything). I didnt unwrap it in the store to check (because who does that), but when I got home it was absolutely not what I ordered.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 13 2020
I see your point when it comes to dotting your iβs...
But crossing your tβs is where I draw the line.
π︎ 51
π
︎ Dec 01 2019
What do you call it when it takes more than 24 hours to see any election results?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 17 2020
In most countries, it's common to see Dads mostly buried in the sand of beaches
Except in Mexico. There, they only burritos.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 19 2020
Took the shell off my racing snail to see if I could make it go faster...
Just made it a bit sluggish.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Jul 21 2019
It's impressive to have a lot of gall or a lot of stones, but if you have both you should probably see a doctor.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 28 2019
It's good to see people that carrot about world peas.It might seem corny, but to achieve world peas we have to beet the bad guys.
π︎ 65
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︎ Jul 18 2018
not only is it a pun based on the song "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, it's also a good reminder on how to pronounce the word coelacanth (seeΒ·luhΒ·kanth)!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 25 2019
My dad asked me to turn on the water heater. To which I replied βItβs onβ. Only to see my dad run across the kitchen yelling βItβs on okay bring it no holding back!β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 25 2019
Became a parent recently. Asked my friends for some advice and they just told me to wing it and see where it goes.
According to my wife, throwing the toddler across the room was not the way to go.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 07 2019
I've never seen midget wrestling, but I want to see it.
It's definitely on my short list.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 17 2019
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 24 2019
What was it like to see the very first newspaper?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 21 2019
Wouldn't it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who's on the other side?
I mean, imagine all the peepholes!
π︎ 207
π
︎ Feb 16 2019
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