I clean all my weapons with tree sap.

Some say I’m crazy, but I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 319
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree is the best for blocking water?

An evergreen

πŸ‘︎ 335
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7bladesofgrass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the tree say to his tree girlfriend

I wood do anything for you

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mewzickk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Scientists have realised that trees have a way of communicating with each other...

It's called What Sap.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the shoe factory, but they were nice enough to leave me with a parting gift.

They gave me the boot.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I looked up my family tree.

I am the sap.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Poor Sap...

Teacher: Open up to page 275

Me: to page 275 I feel like my dad is dissapointed in me and I don't know why.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
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The first ever guy they tested out to eat maple syrup from a tree must’ve been a real sap!
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmarFromtheWire2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I had a fight with a father last night.. only thing is he was a tree

Called his son a sap

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/actuaryvsp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Poor sap, couldn't keep up with my tree puns. imgur.com/a/VOvok
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhoPutThatThere
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
🚨︎ report
I once tied myself to a tree to see what bondage feels like.

Turns out I was just a sad sap.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Veilus
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Well, the new year is upon us and that means I have to stick spigots in all my red and black maple trees...

The task always saps my strength.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I need the name of the sticky stuff inside trees..

ASAP

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
It sadly went right over her head too...
πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saucebergenstein
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2013
🚨︎ report
Made a dadjoke instead of a sale. Wooden you?

We sell wooden soap dishes, made of various kinds of wood, as part of our business. When I get asked which is our best seller, I pick one up and say "This one is real poplar."

πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2015
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Why did the maple tree not have any friends?

Because he wasn't poplar.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scorpionoxide
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an emotional tree?

A sap

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/olivewitharhyme
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to hear alot of tree puns

Most of them were all bark and no bite, even though they branched out to more deep rooted subjects. Some of the saps had to leave usually. Everyone was oakay in the end though, it left some of us feeling fruity. I was asked how the others were affected, but i told them i wooden know. I bought a wooden tv shortly after but everything was payperview.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lieghannsheriden
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
🚨︎ report
I always wanted to be a tree surgeon

But I can't stand the sight of sap

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/8979323
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
🚨︎ report

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