Where do royal British ducks live?

In Duckingham Palace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pol_Ice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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I love a royal flush!

It means a great deal to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Did you hear about the Egyptian royal family that had harmonious flatulence?

They had a little toot-in-common.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilmd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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My dentist told me that I am a royal descendant

I get my crown next week

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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If you rearrange the letters in "Royal Mail"

They get extremely annoyed

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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How do you tell if a flower is of royal descent?

Check if its blue-budded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timeforclock
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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My buddy says he’s a member of the royal family on paper

Prints

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πŸ‘€︎ u/piratecheese13
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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What did the royal taster say after drinking the poisoned water?

Not much

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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If Harry decided to take up painting now he’s stepped back from the royal family...

...he would be the artist formerly known as Prince.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tecfrigo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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What did the pregnant mare say when she gave birth upon being dealt a royal flush?

"I foaled."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Usually I pick the Royal Mail as a deliverer for my purchases

It's because they do it door-tudor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/L24D
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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The Royal Australian Mint has game
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πŸ‘€︎ u/purejawgz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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My friend the artist told me he didn’t have any cyan, azure, cobalt, navy, royal, or sapphire paint.

That was completely out of the blue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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The Queen was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the royal stable when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn't be ignored. "Oh dear," said the Queen, "I'm dreadfully sorry about that." "It's quite understandable," said the Archbishop,

and after a second, "For a moment there I thought it was the horse."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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If the media finds drama with Prince Charles, is that Royal-tea?
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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The latest royal baby just began speaking today! No comment from Buckingham Palace so far.

Apparently, Mum's the word.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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Royal etiquette: If Queen Elizabeth accidentally burps during dinner, the other guests must pretend that nothing happened.

Because Noble Gases shouldn’t have any reaction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
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Who are the royals of the school supplies?

The rulers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheme13on
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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I didn’t understand the kids’ fascination with Battle Royal Games

But after a fortnight, I finally did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeButNotMeToo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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The Royal Norwegian Navy decided to put bar codes on all of their ships.

Now they can Scandinavian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OreoGaborio
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2016
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What do you call a member for a royal court who you can hire for cheap to represent you in a rap-battle?

A dis-count.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeframecochrane
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2017
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What do you call a royal sea bird?

Regull.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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Why didn't the royal family accept candy from Donald Trump?

Because it wasn't king-size.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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The BBC say that new royal baby's name will be announced in due course.

That's a terrible name.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unholysifiman21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
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I thought the Royal Family weren’t supposed to have political alignments

... but the news tells me that the Duchess of Cambridge is in Labour.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alxhix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
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Why are the royals so fruity about their weddings?

It has to be very public, so they cantaloupe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diogenes--
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
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How did the detective solve the royal murder?

Fingerprince

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πŸ‘€︎ u/punge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
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Watching the Royals / Blue Jays

Me: that pitcher just threw a cheeseburger at the catcher.

Son: what?

Me: yeah, it was a 100 mph slider.

My sons all laugh and the wife rolls her eyes. I'll take it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddof
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2015
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Just got dad joked about Crown Royal Apple Whiskey

There was a commercial for Crown Royal's new Apple whiskey and I said to my dad, "that looks like it'd be pretty good." He responds with, "Yeah, it'd be worth a shot." I groaned so loud

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πŸ‘€︎ u/k_pressley
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
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