What’s a robot say when it has to use the restroom?
Shouldn’t the bedroom be called the Restroom instead of the bathroom?
A bald man with a hairpiece needed the restroom during a movie.
He whispered to his date, “I have toupeé.”
What do mathematicians do in the restroom?
Do you use toilet seat liners in public restrooms?
Or do you not give a crap
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
I tried to start a conversation in the public restroom...
but everyone was occupied
Friend asked why I never used the public restrooms
Because I'm not a party pooper.
If you're American when you go in the restroom and you're American when you come out. What are you when you're in the rest room?
Did you know that the military has an officer designated for taking care of restrooms?
What do you call a restroom for sad people?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the restroom?
As an American, what are you while you're using the restroom?
European. What about while you're on the way to the restroom? You're Russian
Why should you leave the restroom if someone walks in playing Pokemon Go?
Because they might be trying to catch a pikachu.
One of the best parts of public restrooms? Grout puns!
What I see in a campground restroom stall
The best restrooms can be found inside of PNC Bank branches
You can 'PNC' what happens next
Went to the restroom in a restaurant and saw a sign that said “Employees must wash hands”
I waited as long as I could but nobody came, so I just washed them myself.
What do you call it when the ovaries are crying in the restroom?
Someone's been sawing logs in the restroom
https://preview.redd.it/ol97brabcgq11.png?width=480&format=png&auto=webp&s=4eeb77a9b2a2fdeff6ec4e281544fd4cdb492d83
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
I had to go to the bathroom and I pointed at a sign in the distance and asked my friend, "Does that say 'Restroom'?"...
He said he didn't know, but he saw "-room", he didnt see the rest.
Why are they called "restrooms"...
If people are gonna judge me for sleeping on the floor?
How does a logician explain why long lines form at the restroom after a movie?
If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. A lot of people do have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. Put a bit more formally:
Pee implies queue. Pee, therefore queue.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Where do bees go to the restroom?
By chance, I saw an old friend just recently while in a men's' restroom. I said to him...
Why doesn't Heinz Doofenshmirtz build inators in men's restrooms?
Because he would be defeated by a gent pee.
While at work, I frequently go to the public restroom in my building to avoid doing my job...
you could say it's a stalling tactic.
Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Willie Makit and Betty Wunt.
Asked the Optometrist if I could use the restroom
She said "1...or...2? 1...or 2?"
I told her that was none of her business
What do you call the colleagues who visit the restrooms together?
What do they call gossip you hear in restrooms?
I went to my Dad's house and used the restroom....
I told him "you have some shitty toilet paper dad."
He said "that's Charmin, it's not shitty"
"It is now" ;)
Why should you always use public restrooms in Ireland before 2:39?
Because if you waited just a minute longer it would be too farty.
How did the 8th grader deal with the bully that wouldn't let him enter the restroom?
He had to fight. For his right. To POTTY!!!
Notices the ladies restroom door was missing the 'W'
Told my daughter that sign was a bad omen
My girlfriend was taking her time in the public restroom
You might even say she was stalling.
What question did Shakespeare right before he goes to the restroom?
After a long trip back home, my mother announced “If anyone has to go to the restroom, go now.” And I continued:
“Or forever hold your pee!”
If you can't find a restroom
Kids, you better go to the restroom now
or forever hold your pees.
You’re American before you enter the restroom and American when you come out of the restroom, but what are you while you’re inside the restroom?
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