Restroom pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GLABES
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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Shouldn’t the bedroom be called the Restroom instead of the bathroom?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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A bald man with a hairpiece needed the restroom during a movie.

He whispered to his date, β€œI have toupeΓ©.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusk118
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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What do mathematicians do in the restroom?

PnC

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superabuser
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Do you use toilet seat liners in public restrooms?

Or do you not give a crap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/platformjuan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?

Must-turd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kblom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I tried to start a conversation in the public restroom...

but everyone was occupied

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Persons1001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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Friend asked why I never used the public restrooms

Because I'm not a party pooper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/terkoon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Did you know that the military has an officer designated for taking care of restrooms?

He's a loo tenant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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What do you call a restroom for sad people?

A pity potty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dragontail
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the restroom?

Because the p is silent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nkiehl
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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If you're American when you go in the restroom and you're American when you come out. What are you when you're in the rest room?

European

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magic_Milkman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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As an American, what are you while you're using the restroom?

European. What about while you're on the way to the restroom? You're Russian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smashedmelon618
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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Why should you leave the restroom if someone walks in playing Pokemon Go?

Because they might be trying to catch a pikachu.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kcjames1138
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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One of the best parts of public restrooms? Grout puns!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siraim
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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What I see in a campground restroom stall
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anfocalscoir
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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Went to the restroom in a restaurant and saw a sign that said β€œEmployees must wash hands”

I waited as long as I could but nobody came, so I just washed them myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoopMonster696969
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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What do you call it when the ovaries are crying in the restroom?

A menstrual breakdown.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ns144
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".

But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MysteryOrange7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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Someone's been sawing logs in the restroom

https://preview.redd.it/ol97brabcgq11.png?width=480&format=png&auto=webp&s=4eeb77a9b2a2fdeff6ec4e281544fd4cdb492d83

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scruluce
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?

Dereliction of doodie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Where do bees go to the restroom?

At the BP station.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmackz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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Why are they called "restrooms"...

If people are gonna judge me for sleeping on the floor?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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How does a logician explain why long lines form at the restroom after a movie?

If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. A lot of people do have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. Put a bit more formally:
Pee implies queue. Pee, therefore queue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaperSpock
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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I had to go to the bathroom and I pointed at a sign in the distance and asked my friend, "Does that say 'Restroom'?"...

He said he didn't know, but he saw "-room", he didnt see the rest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMillionthSam
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
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Why doesn't Heinz Doofenshmirtz build inators in men's restrooms?

Because he would be defeated by a gent pee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paPAneta
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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While at work, I frequently go to the public restroom in my building to avoid doing my job...

you could say it's a stalling tactic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vladipus222
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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Asked the Optometrist if I could use the restroom

She said "1...or...2? 1...or 2?"

I told her that was none of her business

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanielSternsBeard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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By chance, I saw an old friend just recently while in a men's' restroom. I said to him...

"Long time, no pee."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Budzee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
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Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?

It's by Willie Makit and Betty Wunt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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What do they call gossip you hear in restrooms?

Restrumors.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsKilLikeMine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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I went to my Dad's house and used the restroom....

I told him "you have some shitty toilet paper dad."

He said "that's Charmin, it's not shitty"

"It is now" ;)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apodyosist
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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What do you call the colleagues who visit the restrooms together?

Peers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bubi093
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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Why should you always use public restrooms in Ireland before 2:39?

Because if you waited just a minute longer it would be too farty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zoxor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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Notices the ladies restroom door was missing the 'W'

Told my daughter that sign was a bad omen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/red3biggs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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What question did Shakespeare right before he goes to the restroom?

To pee or not to pee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayandquita
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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After a long trip back home, my mother announced β€œIf anyone has to go to the restroom, go now.” And I continued:

β€œOr forever hold your pee!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Liqqa
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
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My girlfriend was taking her time in the public restroom

You might even say she was stalling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonblaze32
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2017
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If you can't find a restroom

Urine trouble

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manuel_f_p
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
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Kids, you better go to the restroom now

or forever hold your pees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nateorade
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
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β€œI’m gonna go hit the restroom”

β€œDon’t hurt yourself!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scassmb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
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You’re American before you enter the restroom and American when you come out of the restroom, but what are you while you’re inside the restroom?

European.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beyond0siris
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
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